The land of unknown
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2001-10-03 19:27:58 (UTC)


Mood: pissed cuz i have to write this whole damn thing
over again!
Song: a new Skinlab song to which i do not know the

WOOHOO!! skinlab has a cd coming out Holloween!!
well, i would tell u about the skinlab stuff, but since i
don't think i even have any skinlab fans reading my
diary, i won't waist my time(again). but what's
interesting is that, at the end of school, i was going to
come here and write about my lonelyness. the song
was going to be 'Give up, Give in, Lie down' by Dry Kill
Logic. it's a sad song. sort of. but when i got home, i put
on skinlab and it completely changed my mood. skinlab
is one band to go to when u have low self esteem.
songs like, Second Skin, Know your Enemies, and
especially Scapegoat. Scapegoat is THE song for any
who has been picked on, treated horribly, or for any
other reason to have low slef esteem. also what helped
me, was i got an email from Kitty. that always helps,
unless i take it the wrong way. sometimes i feel so
down that i will find little things in emails to get worse
about. like if i get an email, i'll sit there and find all the
things i thought they should've said and get mad at
them for it. it's just, part of me doesn't want to settle for
an answer but wants the cure to what is bothering me.
which is almost always, i want a girlfriend. which is why
i gave kitty such a hard time. i almost wanted to feel
bad. i let myself get that way. it's never any one elses
fault, none of my friends ever have really mad me mad.
sometimes i just do it to myself. so, i'm sorry kitty. i'm
sorry lyz. u 2 try so hard to make me happy, but
sometimes i feel like i want to feel bad. oh well. so yea.
that was most of my day. and this dude Steve(not lyz's
other half) let me sit at his table at lunch. there were
some other guys i recognized. and Steve listens to Fear
Factory. he's cool in my book. damn. this was much
longer the first time, but for some damn reason, it only
posted my mood. not even the song i had. stupid
thing!!! oh well. so................. yea.............. uhh.................