Lamia

Forte
Ad 2:
2001-10-03 16:24:29 (UTC)

This is Not Worth my Tuition Dollars

I'm skipping another two classes today. What the hell
is wrong with me? It's like I'm trying to fail myself out
of college. I hate school. There's only one class that I go
to almost every time, and that's just because I think my
teacher is a really cool person and the material is semi-
interesting. The point of going to college is to learn how
to think, right? Well, it seems to me that most teachers
have taken this to mean that we should learn to think like
them, or learn to think like one of their academic heros.
I feel lost. I want to be creating, honing the ideas I
have swimming around in my head, making them into something
concrete. But yet so much of my time needs to be devoted to
picking apart things that others have already done. It's as
if they're saying, "This is the ultimate. All you'll ever
be able to do is try and replicate this greatness so you
better get started now." It makes me so furious. I feel
like I did one day in 10th grade english class when my
teacher said in response to a question about why we never
choose our own topics to write about, "What? You want to be
creative? I thought you would have left creativity behind
in middle school, where it belongs."
What really makes me mad though, is that I'm not doing
anything about it. I know that I don't have to let the
mentality of anyone else stop me from whatever I want to
achieve. My problem is that I don't know what I want to
achieve, that's why I came to college in the first place. I
came to explore subjects and my potential within the
subjects, and to find mentors that will teach me from their
own experiences. But the professors here don't seems
concerned with their own experiences, let alone ours. All
they do is give lectures that could easily be read in a
book, and in much less time. They manage to take the human
aspect out of their classes completely. I want to know what
it is they're passionate about, how they've learned to cope
with life, how they reached the place that they're in
today. I want to learn about chemistry, or philosophy, or
literature from the perspective of someone who could not
live without it. Someone who feels so strongly, and knows
so much about what it is to LIVE chemistry, or philosophy,
or literature. This is the type of role-model I can look up
to and learn from. But it seems like it won't be that easy
for me. I guess I'll have to figure it out by myself.


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