Adelaide

Screaming Cathedrals
2001-10-03 05:56:26 (UTC)

10-2-01

I know I haven't written in awhile... but I haven't really
had the urge.
Well.. let's see... what's happened of late?...
Clay is trying to make me feel guilty for "fucking him
over"... which I don't understand... being that I haven't
done anything to him. But.. oh well... he can be pissy as
long as he wants. I don't really care.
Jon read my journal... got upset over the entrees that
spoke of Tom.... He knew some things about him... but not
much... but we talked... and he's fine.
Jon and I were looking around on cattygoths and were
looking at some of the older checks... and came accross
the "Kronik" check... For those of you who don't know...
They're this group of "outcasts" that have banned
together... (yes I know.. it's a bit of a contradiction)
and they insist on treating the rest of society like shit
because they want respect... but yet they complain when
society treats them the way they treat others..
They're really.. not that bright.
I mean... my motto has always been... treat others how you
want to be treated... and if they treat people like shit...
they should expect to be treated that way, themselves...
and not whine about how they are judged unjustly and all
that shit. When they act like fools... then they are
confirming society's bad image of them.
So... we've set out to bring this "orginization" down...
especially since it is based in the carolinas... where we
live... and the home base for this place is only about an
hour or two from where we live.
The thing that bothers me most.. is that they are speaking
for every "freak" "vamp" or "outcast"....
So... when they make a bad reputation for themselves.. it
also reflects on people like myself... which to someone who
doesn't know the alternative subculture well enough to know
the differance between snotty kids trying to be different
and people like myself... we look somewhat similar...
And, I'm sorry... but if by most people in society... I
have to be catagorized with these bratty kids... I don't
want to be seen like that.... and they speak for all freaks
when they make statements like, "We LIKE to be outcasts...
We WANT to be outcasts... we hate all mainstream..." it
reflects badly on me...
All I want from society is respect... I don't want complete
understanding... acceptance... pity... minority
treatment.... nothing of that sort... I just want the
respect due to any human being.
But... anyway...
That's my rant for now. hehehe..

Hmmmm.... Jon is worried that nothing will come of us.. he
is afraid that he's nothing but a rebound shoulder to cry
on... but.. .I'm over Mike.. so I know that's not it.
I really enjoy his company... I mean.. we started out as
friends... before anything else was mentioned about
becoming more than that...
So I know I truely like him as a person...
But.. it's like... I'm waiting for the right time... to
actually say that we're in a relationship together. I'm
waiting for reality to kick in and slap me in the face and
say, "Hey, Adele... it's time, already, bitch."
So...
I tried to explain.. but he doesn't want my
explainations... he just says that he's waiting on my
timing... and if it comes... then that's great... and if it
doesn't... then he's thankful that he got as close as he
did to me.
So.. I'm not in too much of a hurry... I want to be
absolutly sure that this is what I want. No questions asked.
He's a great guy... really... I mean... he makes me smile a
whole lot... and says the sweetest damn shit you've ever
heard...
Damnit, he said I was prettier than Bettie Page... that's
just CRAZY! But sweet as hell, never the less.
But... Yeah... I'm gonna go and stuff.
-end-