Life as I know it.
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2001-10-03 05:41:43 (UTC)

stress isnt cool babe

So omg so much school work, like oh mind blowing so much.
I never had a semester that required this much time, and it
sucks cause its my last semester and it should be a blow
off semester...but no, life doesnt work like that. So i
have been living in the library, barely eating, and
sleeping....this is what my life consists of.

I am talking to my friend Alan now, he is such a sweetheart
sometimes, he is consoling me on my death of my
kitty...which is weird still cause when i wake up in the
morning i expect to hear his meowing =0(

I think tomorrow im calling frat boy to see what's up since
I have been way to busy and I figure since I came back to
my apartment on Sunday it will have been three days and I
wont look like a serious stalker or anything, I am still in
the debate of do i or dont I want a serious
relationship...it has many pro's and con's of course--im a
busy college student ya know...but okay so the main reason
is that IM DUMB and dont want to give up Matt. Yeah dumb,
plaster that shit on my forehead. DUMB. Fucking Love,
fucking you know, okay so yeah you still will always love
people but why so much? WHY DIARY READERS WHY? Like last
night i was ughhhhhh as usual writing massive amounts of
papers and matt is all like "wanna fuck" i said no cause
yeah im so nerdy that i feel school is more important than
Jenn getting laid...but see I swear if he didnt even talk
to me like that, make me feel wanted in ANY way I would so
not be with him...maybe oh god I dont even know anymore...I
dont. really. I dont know, like when frat boy was brining
me back here sunday i looked at matt's house when we passed
and im like "awwww" then i was like "stupid bitch" to
myself. I swear I so swear, I will never be completely
over him. I Hate him for that fact.

And yesterday while I was going to the library I saw emo
boy whom I had a date with on Thursday and we chit chatted
and that was nice. So yeah three men, and me. Most women
would kill for this, but I dont know, I want the love of
Matt, the niceness of frat boy, and the hotness of emo boy
all in one. Will I get that? Of course not cause that
would be superfantasgreat.

AND today on my way home from hella classes i saw fucking
matt's best friend, the asshole from hell...so yeah that
just capped my day. Uhhuh. life sucks, but if you are me
it sucks harder.