shifting mists
2001-10-03 03:53:47 (UTC)

purpose ...

''there isn't anything else worth living for.... there isn't
any point if you are not loved''

.... it's so amazing to me that there are people that
actually think this ... it is such an unhealthy way to view
life ... this mentality is like going into Christmas with
your mind completely centered upon what you're getting
instead of what you're giving or the thought behind the
gifts beneath the tree .... not paying any attention to
anything except getting to open your own presents with the
greedy hope that they are all big and expensive ....

Everyday I realize that this might be the last day of
my life
Walking down the street I find that I'm coming
closer and closer to losing my mind
'Cause when it rains, it pours
Isn't life worth more? I don't even know what I'm
hustlin' for
You've gotta do what you gotta do just to make it
All the hard times that's going to face you

... yes. .. everyone has reasons for living ... reasons
they choose to be alive ... but there is no one point to
life ...and it is important that we as humans realize
that ...
... everyone needs things to live for besides just being
loved .. we need to realize that life is unpredictable ...
that people are undependable ...

As an example:

.. my purpose in being here .. in living .. is not to be
loved .. never will be ..
.. whether i am loved or am NoT loved doesn't change the
fact that i believe that it is not my purpose in being
here ..
.. why?..
.. because whether or not i am loved is not something under
my own control ..
.. my purpose in being here is to learn lessons ..
.. my purpose in being here is touch other peoples lives in
positive ways ..
.. my purpose in being here is to savour beauty ..
.. my purpose in being here is to give love to others ..
not love in the romantic sense .. just love ..
.. my purpose in being here has nothing to do with
receiving anything from anyone ..
.. and this includes love ..
.. because receiving things is not something that i can
control ..

... you notice that there are numerous things on this
list ... they back each other up ... if one falls through
the others are still there ... no one thing is more or less
important than another on the list and as a whole the list
makes up what life, for me, is worth living for ...
.... i used to wonder what life was for .... what i was
here for ... why i was here .. why i was alive ... it took
me a long time to realize that there is more than one
purpose to life .... a long time to learn what the things
on my list were ... to consciously find out what they were
and begin concentrating upon them .. working AT them ....

Living will always be a struggle looking for someone
to love you
Looking back at single horrors, this madness makes me
want to hide
Slowly, internally, I'm dying
Pillow case is wet from all my crying
There is nothing more for me to live for
Take me away, I can't live that life no more

... someone else’s list of reasons might be different than
mine ... might be longer or maybe ~slightly~ shorter ...
but it is important to have a list ... and for those of us
out there that become depressed ... self destructive ...
suicidal ... it is important that we know what that list
is ... that we consciously pay attention to our list
instead of concentrating on any one single item that might
be on it ... because as i said .... life is
unpredictable .. people are undependable .... and shit
happens ....

Lyrics courtesy of the song “The Life” by Alicia Keys