Cowgirl_Mom

Ramblings of a Mom
2001-10-02 21:40:59 (UTC)

Choice after Choice, Fool after Fool

Well, the Queen of Foolish Choices has struck again!!! lol
It was asked after my last entry, why don't I tell this guy
that I am 'talking to' that I care about him more than a
friend, and what I really feel about him and this other
girl. Okay, here's the scoop, I have let him know these
things, but he is determined to see this other relationship
through, and as his best friend, I feel like the right
thing to do is to see him through with it. (No matter how
hard that may be for me, this is really about him, I guess.)
Well, as I have said before, this seems to be the running
pattern for me in making foolish choices with men!! LOL My
ex-husband calls me, telling me about some work that he may
have to have done on his knee (he was on his way to get an
MRI) and all acting lovey-dovey with me. This is soooo
unfair!!! I care about two guys, both of which don't care
about me in the way that I need and/or deserve, and yet
here I sit, twiddling my thumbs, just seemingly waiting for
someone to make a decision. Now, how lame is that?
I've already admitted that I love my ex-husband, and that
is a kinda given, being as that he is the one that I
married and had a child with, but it seems like my mind,
but not my heart, is the only part of me that can remember
how it nearly killed me when he left me and our son
before. Then, on the other hand, I have this other guy,
who I love dearly, and feel like we could probably make it
work, or at least try, and he's tied to someone nearly half
his age, who just continuously hurts him. When will this
lonely cowgirl ever wise up and not be lonely anymore?
Only time will tell.....
Those of you who read this and are parents, or know people
that are single parents, know how hard it is to meet anyone
in this day and age when you do the right thing and put
your child first. So, it is very straining on any kind of
social life whatsoever, especially when the other (absent)
parent does not take advantage of visitation regularly.
So, I guess, one of these days, God will finally take pity
on me and send my 'knight in shining armor riding on his
white horse (or truck---lol)' to me and search me out,
until then, here I am.....So, til later! Have a grrrreat
day!


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