lilith.

dedoubledidentifiedschizophrenia~
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2001-10-02 17:59:45 (UTC)

2 mins to 1 am... im still..

2 mins to 1 am...
im still hangin like a thread abt what happened in school
just now.. caught me offguard.. i mean things couldnt have
picked a better time to come out and hit me..
ill list out de stuffs for ya..

1. de prelim grades have been distributed out..
so far ive scored borderline marks.. im thinkin its ok.. as
long as i dont fail i will not let that shrinking flame
extinguish.. ders hope for me.. i have to work harder...but
u noe i trip and fall.. and bein alone in dis doesnt help
much..

2. prom
i tried playin wit my dad abt de idea and he brushed it
off.. so der goes my hope of goin for prom.. hes not payin
de 35 bucks for sure.. i mean, i can sneak out if i want
to, but looks like i have to foot de cost myself. at dis
moment i dont think thats possible.. so im toyin wit de
idea dat im not makin it for prom.. and see whether im
psyche for it.. if not ill just have to forget abt it.. no
way am i gonna be a charity case and ask money from others
or even borrow.. de whole thing just loses its meaning..

3. personal relationship
i got nothin to say aye.. i dont wanna quote and unquote
shah because i noe her words are true and i dont need truth
for now... im just confused... non existance of it all..
null communication.. trivial misunderstanding.. my
goodness, am i doomed in relationship or fuck what??? fuck
me. just fuck me aight. i dont wan to repeat all de stupid
mistakes i made or do the things i diid the last time we
fought. although my hearts runnin out of space for scars..
i shall fuck up and keep silent.

4.friends
ok.. im not so gd in dois area.. evryone noes dat.. my
hatred for z has sorta become more confusing. its a
mindset. a biased mindset i realised but old habits die
hard.


shit i gtg.
damned.

lith


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