Help!...I'm married to Bart Simpson!
2001-03-01 00:25:53 (UTC)

February 28, 2001 It s a..

February 28, 2001 It's a Wednesday.
My name is Margaret. I am married to the epitome of Homer
Simpson. Now don't get me wrong, I love my husband very
much. It's just that he is so goofy in almost everything he
does. So this will be my writings all about my husband, Joe.

Today, Joe and I have been married for 33 years and 9
months. We were married on May 28th, 1967. I was 18, and
Joe was 22. We had a beautiful wedding, but Joe, of course,
did make a spectical of himself all through the ceremony.
First, as he and the preacher came out, Joe tripped over
his own feet, and tumbled all the way to the altar. After
making a complete fool of himself, he stood up, and acted
as if nothing had happened, and waved to his mother. Who
was very much embarrassed for her son, as she covered her
face, hoping no one would look at her.

Once the ceremony started, and I was walking down the aisle,
I could see Joe smiling with at me with great joy. He was also
scratching his butt, and my Dad and I could see him scatching.
Needless to say, everyone was looking my way, as my Dad led
me down the aisle. But, I had to watch Joe scratch his butt
the whole time i was walking down the aisle, until right before
I got to the altar.

Joe was so elated about getting married, and it definetly
showed. When I got to the altar, he said to me, "I am having
so much fun! Did you see me trip over my feet? It was awesome!"
I quietly hushed Joe, and the preacher began.

Now, when the preacher asked Joe, "Do you take Margaret to
be your wife, Joe let out a burp, and said, "Oh, sorry, it
must have been that burrito I ate," and he laughed, as a child
would, when burping in public. After the preacher asked him
again, he finally gave a, "Well, I sure do! This gal is my
little Honey Dumplin', ya know." Needless to say, at 18, I
too, was embarrassed at Joe. But this was my wedding, and I
was not going to let anything spoil it. So, I smiled, and we
went on with the ceremony.

Yes, we did get through it, but at the end, when the
preacher said, "You may now kiss the bride," Joe got so
excited, he started jumping up and down, and yelling,
"Yehaw, yehaw, I'm a married man! Lets go Honey Dumplin',
theres food in the reception hall, just for us!" Again, I
quieted Joe down and told him this was where he was
supposed to kiss me. I wish I hadn't told him that.
He picked me up and carried me, while skipping and hopping
all around the front of the church. And his kiss was a
simple one right on the forehead. I finally quieted him
down, and then we walked down the aisle as man and wife.
That was probably the only normal thing that happened at
our wedding!