The reasons why....
I am so bad at keeping up with this...
OK...when last I left you, it was Eric's birthday and I had
gotten him a bird...we named him Noodle and he is very
cute...Eric got me a BIG, FAT NOTHING! This makes 3 years
in a row and I think I am mildly sick of it. I told him on
our way to dinner that I think he is in love with Nathalie
and they should explore their feelings for one another. I
don't want to live there anymore...I want some space. How
can I decide what I want when I am stuck in that apartment
with him, listening to him telling me I am shallow, stupid
and something else that begins with an S that I cannot
think of right now...but when I say them all it is funny.
Anyway, why should I stay somewhere I am so unhappy? Why
shouldn't I be permitted to find someone who loves me for
me...including all those things! I deserve to be
happy...unhappy is unnatural for me...it leads to bad
things like getting fat, doing drugs and the "C" word.
Chris says that what I have done is not what ruined the
marriage, because what I am doing is just a symptom that
something bigger is wrong. If I were happy I wouldn't
be "misbehaving" and I think he may be right.