jonesenstein

Jonesenstein
2001-10-02 00:15:54 (UTC)

9-23-01


Sunday, September 23, 2001
I was listening to Barenaked Ladies today in the
car with Lindsay, and I found a song that really
exemplifies what I’m feeling at this particular moment.
The ones I italicized are the ones that I really identify
with.
Falling For the First Time
I'm so cool, too bad I'm a loser
I'm so smart, too bad I can't get anything figured out
I'm so brave, too bad I'm a baby
I'm so fly, that's probably why it
Feels just like I'm falling for the first time

I'm so green, it's really amazing
I'm so clean, too bad I can't get all the dirt off of me.
I'm so sane, it's driving me crazy
It's so strange, I can't believe it
Feels just like I'm falling for the first time

Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost
Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost
What if I lost my direction? What if I lost sense of time?
What if I nursed this infection? Maybe the worst is behind
It feels just like I'm falling for the first time

I'm so chill, no wonder it's freezing
I'm so still, I just can't keep my fingers out of anything
I'm so thrilled to finally be failing
I'm so done, turn me over cause it
Feels just like I'm falling for the first time

Yes, I do feel like I am so sane that I will go
crazy, and I am a bit thrilled (for some twisted reason) to
be practically failing a class or two. I honestly do not
give two fucks about any of my classes, I just don’t want
my profs to feel bad because they didn’t inspire me to
learn like they wanted to.
I just want to draw. That’s it. I just want to
write and make comics and love Lindsay and hang out with
Harris. That’s the life I want.
I can’t have that right now and it’s driving me
insane.