Censored For Your Pleasure
2001-10-01 15:44:30 (UTC)

The Truth

I love Mark! All the shit i say it all goes away when I see
him. Nothing matters when I'm in his arms. The only thing
stopping our relationshit from working is that I am not
ready for comitment. I want to run around and be a child,
like I have never been allowed to do in the past. I love
Mark and the only reason it feels like he owns me and/r
restricts me is because as much as I want to have fun I
love him twice as much. I am the only one who has trapped
myself. It feels like I don't ever want to see him again.
But that's ony beause sometimes I don't want to love him.
It feels like I met him too soon. I want to stay with him
forever but I can't because I'm not ready to give up
adolescence. That's not to say that Mark blocks that. Just
that being with him, or anyone, blocks the ability to have
short fun relationships and party flings etc.I don't do it
often, but I'd rather be able to feel like I can. I'll grow
up oneday, but until then I wanna live as much as I can and
enjoy being young. But no matter what I do, I still love
Mark, so i'm very confused.