chica

The First Day of Forever

Well, we'll see if I can actually keep an online journal,
since I haven't been able to keep a written one since I was
in high school. A funny thing about journals, you write in
them thinking you'll want to remember the things that
happen. But usually you write things in your journal that
you never want to remember. The most embarassing moment, or
how the guy you like thinks your disgusting, or how you got
a hug from the class hunk. I mean, things you really don't
want to read later because they are so embarassing and
silly. I threw away all my journals from high school. I
prefer not to remember some things, and the horribly
embarassing things I know my friend Amanda will remember
for me. Hmm... I try to decide what I should use this
journal for. I guess everything. I'll start out with how I
feel about myself. I feel disgusting. I've never had low
self-esteem, but since I gained my 30 pounds I look in the
mirror and just... gah. It's horrible, I've never felt this
way about myself before. I want it to stop. Gym for me
tomorrow!