DD, Red Lobster, Football, Owens, and Mario Bros.
It's been a fun weekend. I got to be DD on friday night.
It was actually a hell of a lot of fun. You see I'm a GOOD
driver :-). So the first party we went to was
very "diverse" and if you know me you know that I fear
diversity. Being sober I was more cautious who I bumped
into etc. I would have "booty-danced" but I was afraid
that I would "booty-dance" into 300 lbs. 8 feet worth of
diversity, so needless to say I was a good white boy and
kept my white ass in the corner. Anyhow the cops came and
busted it, and I was seriously contemplating going up to
one of the cops grabbing his gun and shooting a couple of
rounds into the air, I mean they couldn't have done
anything to me cos I wasn't drunk...........
Anyhow i went to red lobster on saturday. i had the
seafood platter, adn every god damn item on it was deep
fried, as Dave said "I should ask them to deep fry my water
as well". Man i don't know about you but 30 lbs of seafood
deep fried go right to my colon. let's just say after the
third deep fried crab cake i was sharing the rest of my
platter with an oompa loompa that kept on stealing my
popcorn shrimp.....he was clever, he had a cloak on so that
only i could see him. the rest of the evening consisted of
joe y. and me philosophizing about pre-destination and fate.
so then comes football. i politely declined to play on
saturday night and i thought that would be the end of it.
however i was rudely awaken at 1 p.m. this morning (it's
morning to me). let's just say that i love playing
football but not with a headache and a bad back. and of
course the ever present law of backyard football presided.
at first there are about 50 people that are definetly
playing! then it's down to 20, then 10, then it's down
to "nick you have to play because we only have 4 people".
Owens. for the love of christ, does every fucking person
on campus have to go to owens at 7:35 p.m. on a sunday
evening? the pasta line wrapped around the register, so i
went to the express, there i got my hotdog, cheeseburger,
cheese chicken filet, rueben, 2 slices of pizza, and
grandma utz's chips (my usual). so get this, there are
usually two lines open, and there's a long line, at one
with a girl there that looks so stupid i figured she needed
a bib to catch the drool running down her face. so then
the second line opens and i just go straight there. from
behind me i hear "hey, that's just rude, we were here way
before him and he just cuts in front of us?" alright,
let's get one thing straight. if i'm smart enough to not
wait passively in a line for half an hour and have an iq
above your average gerbil then i deserve not only to be
infront of you but also your food.
SUPER MARIO BROS. 3!!! i love that game, i played it for
about 2 hours at juliann's. but i sucked. i used to be so
good, but i had one of those organic things, and let me
tell you those organic pizza things put up a fight. i bit
into it and the cheese seeped out onto my chest, i was
lucky though if it had gone a little to the left it woudl
have blackened my nipple. nevertheless it was all good
because i got some rice krispy treats, ummmmmmm. of course
--- side note. a guinea pig is in the guiness book of
world records. it fathered 42 guinea pigs.
--- the meanest thing said. it was to the girl working at
dietrick that has downs syndrome, she was stocking the
cups. "whoa, whoa, am i gonna get downs syndrome from you
if i touch those cups?" (un-named person).
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