Freedom

keeping my hands in the air
2001-09-30 19:43:58 (UTC)

couldn't find nething good to name this one with

hey....well...i haven't talked to corey in a while but
that's ok...i'll see him tonite (i hope!) :) well
neways...last nite was really interesting--or at least it
was for me...i talked to taylor--my cool guy friend from
memphis....and we talked online for like 3 hours or
something and it was great...i feel close to him tho i
never do get to see him a lot but that's ok....well, all in
one nite i liked corey, stopped likin corey, liked taylor,
didn't like taylor nemore, and then realized i really
honestly did like corey...yeah, it was great...i keep
talkin to taylor bout my guy problems and he just found out
last nite that the guy i've been talkin bout all along was
the same corey that he knew and he seemed kinda shocked at
that...but neways...i was talkin to taylor and we had a
really good conversation goin on...i always go to guys for
advice and they seem to just be really good with
it...another friend of mine told me not too long ago "if u
spend ur life following one person, u won't find the one
who's following u" and that's a really good quote...too bad
it's hard to put to use (or for me it is neway!)...but i
was talkin to taylor bout my guy problem and he was like,
well, u should go and tell him how u feel...now i would do
that, but i'm too scared to...i dunno what'll happen in the
end--how he'll react--how i'll react--and basically just
what'll end up happening...i think all he wants is just to
make out w/ ppl, but not make any type of commitment...i'm
tempted to just jump him, but i don't want a "friends w/
benefits" type of relationship...it's just a way for me to
get easily hurt...i mean, how could i kiss someone and just
leave it to only a kiss w/o trying to pursue nething?....i
want more than just a make out session...the first time we
attempted to make out--after the attempt (which as u know,
didn't go through), he asked me if i was mad, which i
wasn't, and then i asked him what he was thinkin during
that whole time...he said that he was thinking if whether
or not i would want more and actually have a relationship-
type thing...i told him, yeah i would've becuz after a kiss
that felt right, i would want the whole package deal...i
dunno what i want nemore...i'm want to just give in to
temptation, but then again, i want something more than just
that...i want something real...i know i'm real confusing,
but hey, it's all ok...to conclude this whole thing up...i
really like corey...

~topanga~