Life as I know it.
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2001-09-30 19:20:07 (UTC)

Good and Bad

Isnt it ironic that life is full of contradcitions, such as
good and bad, sacred and profane, and the great life and
death? Well mine kind of has to deal with life and death.

I thought I was pregnant there for a while if you guys have
been reading my diary and I was going to keep the kid no
matter what cause I personally dont feel that I could kill
something, im not anti abortions, just anti for myself.
And today once again death comes in, my Cat Merlin died.
He has been sick for a long time and I knew it was
coming...just didnt think it would be this horrible. Im
not crying or anything, cause i dont know, i really dont
cry that much...but im saddened by this loss...and im so
happy that my last moments with him was him sitting next to
me and me petting him, cause i was always busy and just
ignored the poor cat. But at least his last memories of me
were of me actually paying attention to him, i even told
him I loved him...i kow this sounds so horribly cheesey but
its the truth. And my roommate, who is a guy by the way,
is a total necorphobic so he ran outta here ASAP. And my
friend Heather said she will get rid of the body (I cant
bring myself to do it) but she is at home still and wont be
up here for another hour so i have a little shroud on him
kinda so 1. he doesnt get infected and 2. so i dont have
to stare at his little face. This is so awful. My mom is
in Michigan and she cant do anything, she said if anything
ever happened to him she would get rid of him and heather
wont be here for a bit so its just me and my dead kitty in
my apartment. Its very morbid.

On happier news, I had another date lsat night, with the
frat boy. I like him a whole lot actually. We went to the
bar and drank a bit, then got two six packs and went back
to his place and played Yahtzee and listened to music and
then he gave me a back massage, and he didnt kiss me at
all! So I'm like great...but then we go outside to smoke
and he just grabs me to him and kisses me!!! I ended up
staying the night, no sex or anything, but we made out,
then i woke up and he wasnt in his room so I decided to
have a cigg then to go look for him, well while i was
smokinghe came back and we talked for a bit, then made out,
went back to bed, made out some more then he took me
home...and i think we are like officially dating. I havent
felt this comfortable around someone right away in a long
time, not even matt, probably not since highschool. So this
is weird, and i dont know, he is not my type really but I
like him....a lot and im scared.

so now today ends one thing and begins another...such is
the life cycle.