GrowingUp

Just another FSU nole
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2003-02-26 10:46:28 (UTC)

Thinking Too Much

Wow, well I am going to try to keep up with this diary,
because I honestly think that it would be good for me to
have an outlet rather than just thinking about it and maybe
in a couple months I could look back on it and realize
hoping it all had a meaning or I dunno I guess a good way
to procrastinate and not do the homework I should be
doing. Anyway, well since this is my first entree I dunno
if they attach dates to the entress so just in case it
isthe 26th of Feb. 2003 and like 5:30 am. I couldn't sleep
again.

Anyway ...hmm how to try and sum up everything so
far...well basically I went through either a break-down
period or "I dunno what I am gonna do with the rest of my
life" days and it really kinda freaked me out. I have
always thought it just didn't matter cause I will
eventually be happy when I find "the one". Now call me
jaded, but after a couple years of being single and not
having one decent normal relationship I am starting to gie
up on that idea and realizing that somehow I should find
something that makes me happy and pursue that and if the
latter comes all the better. Now, this is a lot easier
said than done. Because once I have gotten to the point
and realized hey, you need to try and do something or
pursue something that you like to do and that you wanna do
for the rest of your life.

Yeah, I still look back at that question and after a couple
hours of thinking about it. Shit. I dunno. I have noc
lue. I know that sounds like a normal thing to say,
especially me being only 20 and blahblah. But I mean I
dunno I tend to get a ll scared when I realize that hey so
what if I am happy what is my point, my purpose? Am I
doing what I am doing really for myself or for my parents
friends or simply because I don't know what else to do??

Well Okay that is the basic jist of the crap that has been
racing through my mind and keeping me from sleeping. I
guess if your one of those people reading my diary from the
internet but if you are and you have any suggestions or
helpful thoughts etc feel free to email me
[email protected]/ Well till the next time I have time to
write.


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