freeze time to blossom eternally through
2001-09-30 10:25:29 (UTC)

another late night

ok so its late saturday night...or early sunday
morning...whichever you punks prefer. i see it as late
saturday night though. boogie nights is playing on my tv
and lisa is asleep in my bed. im talking to peter and
realizing that i shouldnt have taken that last hit. i
didnt get to talk to joan that much today. her mom is
visiting again and she needs to give her like 100% of her
attention. so im kinda bummed that i didnt get to hear her
bitch and moan about why the world sucks. i went to work
today and thats about it. got really stoned but what the
hell else is new? so lisa and lara are having like total
problems. we went to girlbar last night...this cool ass
club and i like fell in love with this stripper. now im
not one to lust after girls...i just usually fall in love
with my best friends and then shit happens. i dont pick
out girls and hit on them. thats not me and its not even
how i think. but damn this one stripper was just so
amazing. but anyways. lara flirted with me like mad all
night. lots of touches and playful kisses...geez i was all
hot and bothered. one girl hit on me. only one. cmon im
way cuter than that! but looking around i realized that i
could never be gay. i just could never be in that
environment. its just not me. i was kinda sad and kinda
relieved. weird to explain i guess. i guess its like i
always thought that i could, and then when i was in the
actual atmosphere...all i wanted to do was get out. so im
relieved bc i realize i do want a guy, but im sad bc i
thought i knew myself so well and i guess i dont. oh

so im talking to peter. i find him totally intriguing.
hes like a male version of joan. i have talked to him
every night for about a week now. and every night i look
forward to talking to him. he keeps me very entertained.
well my stoned ass is going to get to bed. sorry my
entries suck lately but lisa has been with me 24/7 and i
dunno...i dont have much inspiration these days. not sure
what my inspiration is really...maybe i should find that
out. ill think about it while i am at work tomorrow. to
be continued....