All The My Lame Life That's Fit To P
2001-09-30 06:05:56 (UTC)


that girl i like read my first journal entry. indeed, i
wanted to say something to her sometime about me liking
her, but this is kinda odd. whats done is done. i think
she was avoiding me tonight. a bunch of us went down to
Big Al's snack shop and played pool. i bought pizza for
everyone and we watched snl. it was alright i guess.
everyone seems to dislike me now. nobody really
acknowledged my presence. maybe i'm just used to attention
or something. anyway her and i are still going to
homecoming and possibly to see "my fair lady" if her
parents approve of it. i appreciate musicals a lot and i'm
trying to get her to notice that. it seems like a logical
way to get her to gain interest in me i suppose. we
actually have some decent conversations about that kind of
stuff. its pretty cool.

i realized the most horrible thing last night. we were all
sitting in the campus center watching "finding forrester"
and this just popped into my head....the past two girls i
have dated i slept with before i started going out with
them. when i say slept with i don't mean sex. i mean i
literally fell asleep on a bed/couch next to them.
basically by the next morning we were going out. only one
of these two relationships actually turned out to be
meaningful and i probably just got lucky in that case. now
i realize that those decisions were very wrong. i have
this big voice inside my head telling me that i have the
inability to ask a girl out without getting physical with
her first. i think i'm proud of myself for being able to
talk to a girl and have that be an incentive towards dating.