The Adventures of Target-Boy
2001-09-30 06:03:32 (UTC)

Something to think about..

This was in my personal weblog, after a lot of talking with
the person there about.. well, myself. I don't like talking
about me, but tonight I just seemed to be more willing to
go deeper with her than anyone else.. Anyway, enjoy.


(12:43AM) God, Liz. You're gonna make me do this, or you're
gonna kill me trying.

At this point in my life I don't know whether or not... You
know, this was *so* much worse 5 years ago that it's never
occurred to me to bother fixing it. I'm not lying in my bed
completely lethargic. (No, today I was TYPING!) I'm not
coming up with schemes to kill myself. (I'm merely using
old ones.)


Moment of clarity.

Suicidial thoughts are not good. As a matter of fact.. I
think I will go down there.

Liz, you've saved my life.

On another note: As I started typing the paragraph
above, "Misery" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers came on.
Weird, eh? Heh.

I wish I had more money so I could buy you some flowers or
something. You've really made that much of a difference in
my life.

(Another side note: Misery was followed up by Typical
Situation. "Why are you different? Why are you that way? If
you don't get in line, we'll lock you away." Silly music. :)

I'm happy *NOW* and it's not because of Steve Jobs. This
doesn't compare to Sage iMac happy. I hope it doesn't get
any better, though.. or I might just be back where I was
this morning. (Afternoon? Last night. Whatever.)