Apryl

A Precious Lesbian Girl???
2003-02-26 01:40:07 (UTC)

you know that fuck you type mood?? yep thats the one I have:)

umm...yep Im totally fucking emotionally fucked up right
now...its kinda of nice, Yep tons of fucking niceness. Okay
so umm I'm currently on the phone with Katrina's cousin,
Katrina who is my (exish) girlfriend type thing. Having a
wonderful conversation about a damn relationship that use
to exist but no longer does...great right yea emm hmm cause
it will be a week tomorrow which means I should have
stopped crying 6 days ago but umm nope..cause Im totally
not friggin tough anymore. I feel like the whole friggin
world is like ending and I dont know why cause I mean I've
been fine since like yesterday at like 3:10:-p...I mean I
felt like shit a few hours later and still a lot today but
I was like able to force myself to keep it together...and
now I'm not. Everyday all I hear is "Apryl are you and
Katrina back together yet?" What the fuck kind of shit is
that? Okay cause if I was back with her youd prolly know
anyways, so do ya'll just fuckin say it to make me like
realize we're not together??? I realize that, believe me
its like habit to touch that damn ring every 2 seconds, I
still go to do it its just not there so I look like im
fucking scratching my finger..wow thats really sad.
Uhhh...yep.. and oh the most famous..oh Apryl's not
smiling, OMG you mean people dont smile all the time?? I
totally didn't know that...I mean they do go to Bainbridge
so I guess its exceptable right, no that cant be it cause I
go there too and Im not even that messed up, only on the
occasion. So okay Im off the phone, the cousin says that
shes getting emails that say that she made a huge mistake
and she wants me back so bad and she misses me and loves me
and ughhhh why is it that everyone else knows how she feels
except me. Why the hell is she so damn distant all of the
sudden? Anyways..today, it was alright I felt like shit all
day but it wasnt all that bad. Tomorrow is day 5 so Im
glad, cause I only have 2 classes and I get to fuck around
for the rest of the day which is good cause then Ill talk
alot...like a real lot cause well if I talk a lot about
shit that doesnt matter then I dont think about the things
that do matter right? right..thats what Eric said my talent
is cause hes all like oh apryl whats going on all the time
so I change the subject...so anywho the point is when Im in
class..we like never do anything anyways except in English
but like it matters cause that class is really easy...I
actually sit there and I'm quiet sometimes and then I start
thinking...oh the funniest thing. I was doing all my
English homework last night and I was thinking cause "you
cant hide beautiful" came on and so I was looking at
Katrinas picture and then I was trying to write while it
was on and i wrote her name like 3 times in a paragraph:)
thats cute right..."yep Girls suck, never date them, they
are all headaches," Those would be my big brothers advice
when he found out im a dyke..he was soo right cept Katrina
wasnt a headach, I kinda give myself one from thinking too
much. Okay Im rambling and I need to go take a damn bath
cause Im fucking stressed and Im mad and upset and I hate
this feeling...kay well bye:-p.
~Apryl

**It's been too long and I'm lost without you, what am I
gonna do, I've been needing you, and wanting you, wondering
if your the same and whos been with you, is your heart
still mine, I wanna cry sometimes, I miss you...come back
to me.." -I Miss You Aaliyah-

Yell...ummmm I got this right????? the whole happy kid
thing..I can do it????




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