My piece of reality
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2003-02-26 00:59:22 (UTC)

looking back

as i read back thru some of the old journals i have and
read back on these online ones as well, i see what a cycle
my life has fallen into. how many times have i thought
that john and i were over?? how many times have i said
well thats the last time we would spend in each others
arms, thats the last kiss, thats the last that. but
somehow it always comes back. this last time he said it
was for good, that he didn't want to be like we were, that
kissing me was weird when we arent really together, but it
came back again. as of now we are what we always are. he
kisses me goodnight, we spend time together, he calls, we
cuddle. its gotta be for a reason. there has to be some
explanation as to why we cant stay away from each other. i
know from my end its just that hes been such a big part of
my life since the day i met him and i love him and love
having him as a friend or whatever else we may be. but i
dont know what it is on his end. hes said it was over, hes
said we're done, and it is for a while, but then we get
together and he always kisses me again. and its heaven all
over again. i cant think of any feeling i love more than
being in his arms and feeling him close to me. i just wish
i knew what it was that keeps bringing him back.

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