~My Life... Well, Mostly my "love life"~
2001-09-30 01:35:20 (UTC)


Well, I am completely over Justin. I mean, I still talk to
him on the computer, but seriously as friends now. For
some strange reason, I believe that my mother has taken a
vow of hate towards all of the guys that I really like.
Take Jeff, for example. I had known him since last year,
and had actually LIKED him since the very beginning of this
year. He has the class that I have 4th period 3rd period.
In other words, he has English right before lunch, and I
have it right after. Anyways, at the very beginning of the
year, we sat in the same desks. Since the teacher had note
cards on the desk that had our names on them, we would
write letters to each other every day. Well, one day, he
asked me if I had a boyfriend. I told him no because I
didn't at the time. So one day, he called me since we had
written out phone numbers on the card. A couple of days
later, he asked me out. I asked him to wait two days
because I don't like to go out with people until it has
been two weeks after I have broken up with someone else,
because it seems like I am too desperate, I think. He was
SO upset about that, and after two days, he didn't ask me
out again. He told my friends that I would have to ask him
out, and that WAS NOT going to happen. So our school had a
pre-homecoming dance on September 15th. Jeff had asked me
to go with him, and of course I said yes, because I really
liked him. I wore a beautiful dress. I mean, it was
georgeous. It was like a zebra, except red and black and
there were sparkles all over it. I should have known,
though, that Jeff would wear his orange pants and orange
plaid shirt. But he looked so good that I didn't even
care. So, we were acting like we were going out, because
we were holding hands and stuff like that. He had his arms
around me, and he was complaining about my sweat, so I went
to the bathroom to try to wipe some of it off. When I went
back to the cafeteria, my friend Allison was yelling at him
to "just go outside and ask her already." He was just
standing there and asked her why he had to leave the
lucnhroom. She got part of, "Because she's not gonna say
anything in here in fromt of us," before he asked me out.
And I said yes. The rest of the night is mostly a blur,
partly because I was so exceptionally happy, and partly
because I was so sleepy. What I do remember, however, is
that when I was supposed to leave, he walked outside with
me, and he kissed me. THAT made me happy. He walked out
to the car with me, and we held hands. I didn't care that
Daddy could have seen us, because I had fallen in love with
him earlier that night. Well, last Saturday, exactly one
week after we has started going out, and one week ago
today, he cheated on me. I don't know why I was surprised,
because people told me that he would, and I knew that he
would too. Since he is in the band, they had a competition
that Saturday, and every other Saturday also. The
competition was away, and so they had a LONG bus ride. He
sat with a girl named Megan to and from the competition.
All of my friends told him that he needed to chill out, and
that he had a girlfriend. He supposedly told them that
since he had already started, and everyone was dying to
tell me anyways, that he might as well finish it. He sat
with her on the bus on the way back, and was kissing her
and holding her hand. I found out about this on Sunday.
When I broke up with him, he asked me why. THAT was pretty
messed up. He asked me out again on Tuesday. We had been
passing notes to each other, and in the first one that I
gave to him, it told him that I really did love him and
that I was completely devastated when I found out that he
had cheated on me. I told him to let me think about it,
and that I would tell him that night on the phone, since in
the letter, he had said that he would never cheat again. I
ddin't answer him that night, because I told him that I
wanted to have a dream (I trust my dreams) and that I
wanted to talk to Brandon and Amanda about it. The next
day, I talked to him at lunch, and then I wouldn't answer
him, so he willingly waited until the very end of the day.
At the end of the day, as we were walking to his bus, he
asked me out again. I said yes, and he was really happy.
He asked me to hug him, but at the time I didn't feel good,
and he didn't mind that I said no. I talked to him
Wednesday night, and when I had to get off of the phone, he
told me that he loved me and of course I said it back. We
held hands and stuff at school Thursday. He said that he
loved me again on the phone. Yesterday, Allison called him
and asked him if he really loved me, or if he was just
saying that to make me happy. He said that he really did,
and that he wouldn't even sit with Megan on the bus, that
he would sit with Seth instead. And that just made me love
him even more. He called me at about 3:00, and Mama made
me get off of the phone because she was mad that he had
cheated on me. So, as soon as she left, and my sister was
in the shower, I called him back. When they got home, I
asked them if I could call Allison, since I practically
hung up on him before. They said that I could, but I
called him instead. He had to get off of the phone because
he had to take a sower to get ready for the game. He told
me to say it first, since he had said it first for the last
two days. I told him that I wasn't going to. He was
joking around, and said that maybe I really didn't love
him. Then, I said that I loved him about a million times,
and he was like, "whatever." He really did have to get off
of the phone, and I told him that I loved him and he said
it back. Allison said that she would go to the band
competition today to keep an eye on Jeff, and Brandon is
going to call me tomorrow to tell me if he said or did
anything. I really hope that nothing happened, because if
something did, I will just have to love him and not take
him back again. I LOVE YOU JEFF!!

DigitalOcean Referral Badge