HeyDooder

GayDood
2003-02-25 19:18:12 (UTC)

The Rollercoaster Comes Full-Circle

After many, many entries to this diary...I find that I am
once again bitching about men (or one man, to be exact)
just as I was in the first entry ever!

So I shall not! I will not let the Great Roller Coaster of
Life come full circle again. Instead, I'll ponder some
more profound things.

I jizzed myself. I decided that after last night's binge I
would fast (meaning eat healthy and light by my standards)
and had this massive chef's salad for lunch with low-cal
Ranch dressing.
There is just something disgusting about low-cal Ranch
dressing that makes it taste like semen (sorry if you're a
fan) and the taste of such things at room-temperature over
a bed of romaine lettuce does not exactly tempt my palate.

Needless to say, it was inevitable that a great big glob of
the stuff catapulted off of a leafy green and landed right
in my crotch, dead center and just slightly to the right.
Ugh!

Speaking of pants, I adore the pants I have on today. They
are tight and sleek, and a steely-grey in color. The kind
of pants that an Imperial General from "Star Wars" would
wear...if they were in a cheesy porn shoot.

And now, on with another terrible survey, sent ala the
darling and vivacious Christine, who has since left us for
the land of eternal smog known as Los Angeles:


1. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? When my body
is ready, but I always try for six except on weekends.

2. IF YOU COULD EAT LUNCH WITH ONE FAMOUS PERSON WHO WOULD
IT BE? Cookie Monster. How fun would it be to take him to
a fancy French cuisine restaurant and watch him start
eating the china and the tablecloth?

3. GOLD OR SILVER? Silver to wear, gold to find

4. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA? Darkness
Falls

5. FAVORITE TV SHOW? Josie and the Pussycats

6. WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST? Sometimes nothing,
sometimes everything. It all depends on the hunger and the
time I have to prepare.

7. WHAT WOULD YOU HATE TO BE LEFT IN A ROOM WITH? Either a
giant carnivorous vagina, or a talking baby doll.

8. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE? No, but I can
touch YOURS…wanna see?

9. WHAT/WHO INSPIRES YOU? What: sex, art, music, food, and
nature

10. WHAT IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME? Either Thomas or Theodore,
depending on who you are

11. BEACH, CITY, OR COUNTRY? Beach for relaxing, city for
partying, country for living

12. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer! Have I mentioned how much I
hate all this damn snow?!

13. FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Maple Walnut

14. BUTTERED, PLAIN, OR SALTED POPCORN? Plain, if I’m gonna
eat it at all.

15. FAVORITE COLOR? Green, brown and copper.

16. FAVORITE CAR? One that runs, never needs repair or
refueling, and doesn’t get pulled over by cops.

17. FAVORITE SANDWICH FILLING? Only if we are talking about
a people sandwich, and I’ll refrain to comment on the
answer to THAT one.

18. TRUE LOVE? Wow, can we possibly be any more vague? Do
I have one?…no. Do I believe in such things?…yes. Do I
believe it conquers all?…pathetic as it may sound, yes.

19. WHAT CHARACTERISTICS DO YOU DESPISE? Shallowness,
selfishness, pessimism, hatred, jealously, egotism,
narcissism, gluttony, self-hatred, self-fear, shyness,
bigotry, bias, racism, narrow-mindedness, ignorance, lack
of class or etiquette, sloth

20. FAVORITE FLOWER? Silversword, found only in volcanic
areas of Hawaii

21. IF YOU HAD A BIG WIN IN THE LOTTERY, HOW LONG WOULD YOU
WAIT TO TELL
PEOPLE? It depends on the size. If it’s enough money, I’d
wait a while so nobody was preparing to whack me off (in
the bad way).

22. FIZZY OR STILL WATER AS A DRINK? Fizzy water scares me,
still water breeds mosquitos. Neither, please.

23. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHROOM? Beige

24. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING? 5

25. WHERE WOULD YOU RETIRE TO? NOT Florida, it's too predictable and
everyone retires there…maybe the
rainforest.

26. CAN YOU JUGGLE? No, but I will be able to spin fire one
day!

27. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK? Saturday

28. RED OR WHITE WINE? It depends on what the main dish calls
for…is it red meat, white meat, or fish? And what type of
red or white are we talking about? Whoever wrote this
question knows nothing of wine! Personally, I prefer a nice Pino
Grigio from the Napa Valley (sorry, I do prefer it to Italian Pino).

29. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY? I went out, but
not with as many friends as I intended and did NOT get laid
as planned.

30. DO YOU CARRY A DONOR CARD? Yuck! Nope.

31. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE? Film Noir? Sunset
Boulevard. Classic? The Women. Sci-Fi? The Dark Crystal…
now tied with the Fellowship of the Ring. Horror? The
Fog. Foreign? Raise the Red Lantern…the list could really
go on and on.

34. FAVORITE MIXED DRINK? Apple Martini

35. BRACES? Had them and they only slightly worked because
my lower jawbone is disproportionate to the rest of my
skull and my teeth wont line up perfectly…the disproportion
is only noticeable in x-rays anyway.

36. WHEN WERE YOU AT YOUR IDEAL WEIGHT: I never was. I’m
still about three pounds underweight.

37. A CURRENT FRIEND YOU'VE KNOWN THE LONGEST AND HOW LONG?
Trish for 19 years.

38. CURRENT BOOK YOU ARE READING OR JUST FINISHED? Book the
Ninth, “The Carnivorous Carnival” by Lemony Snickett, from
the Series of Unfortunate Events.

More POSITIVE focus to come...did you hear me Drew?!
(talking to my inner-self) I said we are being POSITIVE
this time around!




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