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2003-02-24 17:03:10 (UTC)

Phil Convo

Ganesh529 (12:04:39 AM): hello

Auto response from RadiantGabby (12:04:39 AM): leave a

Ganesh529 (12:07:05 AM): huh "leave a message" now really
what is someone suppose to leave for a message... I mean i
could say that things are good, i have spent the last
three days studying for my mid-terms that start this week.
Yet again i could just not really leave one, or even the I
hope everything is going well for ya and have some fun.
Sure i guess i will go with that message. TTFN
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RadiantGabby (2:00:38 PM): heyhey
Ganesh529 (2:00:46 PM): hello
RadiantGabby (2:00:54 PM): we're snowed in!
Ganesh529 (2:01:10 PM): i am not
Ganesh529 (2:01:23 PM): but i aint going out still hitting
the books
RadiantGabby (2:01:33 PM): lol, we've got somwehere near a
foot and it's still snowing.... oh... should i let you do
Ganesh529 (2:01:46 PM): lol no
RadiantGabby (2:01:56 PM): oh, ok then... hows it going?
Ganesh529 (2:02:07 PM): i've been studying for 4 days
RadiantGabby (2:02:11 PM): omg...
Ganesh529 (2:02:20 PM): :-D
RadiantGabby (2:02:25 PM): proud?
Ganesh529 (2:02:30 PM): yeah
RadiantGabby (2:02:35 PM): you should be, lol
Ganesh529 (2:02:56 PM): well some of the questions my
proffesor gave us are pretty intense
RadiantGabby (2:03:05 PM): i can't imagine
Ganesh529 (2:03:43 PM): 4. Define Industrial Revolution.
Why did England become the first industrial nation? What
were the necessary elements that allowed an industrial
revolution to get underway and transform it and other
countries in Europe? What was forever different after the
Industrial Revolution occurred in those countries? Discuss
how Marx/Engels fit the Industrial Revolution into a
general schema for the progression of mankind through
RadiantGabby (2:04:23 PM): wow... sounds like my world
poli. midterm
Ganesh529 (2:04:33 PM): thats one of the 13 he gave us
Ganesh529 (2:04:46 PM): i have 3 mid-terms this week
Ganesh529 (2:04:52 PM): 2 next week
RadiantGabby (2:05:15 PM): we're given twenty and then on
the test we have ten and have to answer two... wow, good
Ganesh529 (2:05:32 PM): yeah we have 10 and we have to
answer 3
RadiantGabby (2:05:48 PM): yeah
RadiantGabby (2:07:17 PM): you know? I can't wait until may
RadiantGabby (2:07:25 PM): we get to go back to the beach!
Ganesh529 (2:07:33 PM): yeah beach
Ganesh529 (2:07:35 PM): warmness
RadiantGabby (2:07:40 PM): ahh...
Ganesh529 (2:07:43 PM): no bloody splint
RadiantGabby (2:07:56 PM): lol... i dunno if i'm going
back to the theater this summer
Ganesh529 (2:08:05 PM): i dont think i am
RadiantGabby (2:08:10 PM): lol.
Ganesh529 (2:08:15 PM): i need money
RadiantGabby (2:08:25 PM): yeah me too, i may check o0ut
hanneford though
Ganesh529 (2:08:38 PM): yeah they pay really good
Ganesh529 (2:08:45 PM): they started me at 9.75
RadiantGabby (2:08:46 PM): yupyup, and more hours too
Ganesh529 (2:09:19 PM): i will probably look at the
overnight crew
RadiantGabby (2:09:25 PM): funfun
Ganesh529 (2:09:39 PM): yah might be able to get like 11
and hour
Ganesh529 (2:10:25 PM): but i have to get permission from
MSU to come home
RadiantGabby (2:10:29 PM): why?
Ganesh529 (2:10:35 PM): need to check on my instates status
RadiantGabby (2:10:39 PM): oh yeah
RadiantGabby (2:10:47 PM): so you might not be able to
come back?
Ganesh529 (2:10:53 PM): yup
RadiantGabby (2:11:07 PM): but... u have to
Ganesh529 (2:11:40 PM): i want to come back but if i have
the choose between saving 11,000 a year and my beach sorry
to say but the beach will be a two wekk visit
RadiantGabby (2:12:04 PM): i know but... still;... u have
to come home. i miss you, u have to, lol.
Ganesh529 (2:12:29 PM): i will make sure to tell MSU that
RadiantGabby (2:12:41 PM): good, lol.
RadiantGabby (2:12:49 PM): but i dont know if me missing
you is enough
Ganesh529 (2:13:11 PM): who knows
RadiantGabby (2:13:18 PM): lol
RadiantGabby (2:14:46 PM): is it ok that I miss you? I
mean, it's not weird or anything, right?
Ganesh529 (2:15:01 PM): no
Ganesh529 (2:15:12 PM): i would hope ya missed me, i mean
i miss you
Ganesh529 (2:15:32 PM): its nice to know that i am not
RadiantGabby (2:15:44 PM): that would'nt be possible i
Ganesh529 (2:16:02 PM): i know the feeling
RadiantGabby (2:16:34 PM): yeah... it's good to know i'm
allowed to miss you and such, i know someone who definitly
doesn't like the idea.
Ganesh529 (2:17:20 PM): yeah, prehaps its isnt a good idea
i dont want to hurt things with the two of you
RadiantGabby (2:17:55 PM): eh, he's being stupid about
it... keeps saying he isn't sure he wants me in maine this
summer, how ridiculous is that?
Ganesh529 (2:18:51 PM): how can he ask someone not to go
RadiantGabby (2:19:09 PM): yeah... i dont know, he's just
Ganesh529 (2:19:21 PM): understandable
RadiantGabby (2:19:27 PM): it is?
RadiantGabby (2:19:48 PM): i mean, it's been seven months,
and by then it'll have been almost a year... i mean, it
seems a little paranoid to me...
Ganesh529 (2:20:17 PM): yeah but if you remember we got
back together after a year, did you tell him that
Ganesh529 (2:20:32 PM): cause if you did i can understand
his worry
RadiantGabby (2:20:32 PM): yeah he knows everything
RadiantGabby (2:21:14 PM): but that was really
different... i mean, this time, when we broke up... well,
there was signifigant anger there... lol... u know?
Ganesh529 (2:21:43 PM): i am sorry
RadiantGabby (2:22:18 PM): why? that's all old, u know?
it's just that this time is really different than last
year.... not like i'm still angry or anything
Ganesh529 (2:23:28 PM): well last thing i want is you
anger at me but i am sorry that i hurt you i never wanted
to, just kept having the same dream
Ganesh529 (2:23:40 PM): well more of a nightmare
RadiantGabby (2:23:53 PM): what? you never told me
anything about a dream...
Ganesh529 (2:24:58 PM): yeah i know, you see i kept having
the dream of when we said goodbye and how you were crying,
it broke my heart to see you so sad and i realized that
everytime we got together and you left you would be that
sad each time and my heart would break each and everytime
RadiantGabby (2:25:31 PM): so you figured just let it
break once and for all?
Ganesh529 (2:25:43 PM): i guess
RadiantGabby (2:25:53 PM): oh...
Ganesh529 (2:26:10 PM): i dont know i got afraid
RadiantGabby (2:26:17 PM): i know the feeling
Ganesh529 (2:26:54 PM): so i let you go it was the thought
you would be happier with someone down there who you
wouldnt have to say goodbye to
RadiantGabby (2:27:28 PM): i wou;d've been happier knowing
that the person i loved still loved me... no matter where
you were
Ganesh529 (2:28:09 PM): i know
Ganesh529 (2:28:20 PM): hey i am still new about this
whole loving people
RadiantGabby (2:28:42 PM): i was too. i still am... i
still question it all, but i knew.
Ganesh529 (2:28:51 PM): i date i just really never loved
RadiantGabby (2:29:02 PM): yeah i know that
Ganesh529 (2:29:19 PM): well i am done dating for awhile
RadiantGabby (2:30:00 PM): why did you ever tell me you
loved me?
Ganesh529 (2:30:11 PM): becuase i did
RadiantGabby (2:30:15 PM): i believed it...
RadiantGabby (2:30:49 PM): you just said you never loved...
Ganesh529 (2:30:50 PM): i still do but we are no more
Ganesh529 (2:30:56 PM): since you
RadiantGabby (2:31:19 PM): and i've been so excited about
going home because i like i said i miss you and as much as
that might kill what kevin and i have i've missed you and
i just wanted it to be summer again
Ganesh529 (2:31:27 PM): i mean the only person i ever
loved or believed i love i had to say goodbye
Ganesh529 (2:32:14 PM): Tina it will be summer but i am
not going to do anything that might hurt you and kevin
RadiantGabby (2:33:16 PM): you don't have to do
anything... kevin wants to marry me, he's told me that,
and even asked about a ring and everything... and i can't
stop thinking about you, as much as i try lately it's just
not happening and i don't know why. i did so good for all
this time and now i just... can't stop.
Ganesh529 (2:35:56 PM): from what i can tell he will make
oyu very happy
Ganesh529 (2:36:16 PM): i mean i dont know him but i am
sure he is a great guy
RadiantGabby (2:36:49 PM): i think you're the coldest
person i've ever met...
Ganesh529 (2:36:57 PM): what

Auto response from RadiantGabby (2:36:57 PM): not now

Ganesh529 (2:37:02 PM): now what did i do
Ganesh529 (2:37:16 PM): please dont do this to me
RadiantGabby (2:37:23 PM): you didn't do anything
RadiantGabby (2:37:53 PM): you never did, you just
convinced yourself that doing nothing so that you wouldn't
hurt was better than anythign you could have while you
weren't hurting
RadiantGabby (2:39:08 PM): you're never going to let
yourself have anything good
Ganesh529 (2:39:16 PM): i am sorry for the hurt i caused
you but please believe me when i say there isnt a day that
has gone by when i have yelled at myself for what i did,
you think it has been at all easy get over you
Ganesh529 (2:39:41 PM): my goodness its even worse becuase
i have no one else to blame but own stupidity
RadiantGabby (2:40:14 PM): i never said anything about it
being easy or hard... i just wish you woulod see that you
need to deal with the sad days in order to have the good
ones... but those good ones are what make life worth it.
Ganesh529 (2:41:07 PM): trust me i know but other you,
your the only person other then family who i have loved
and is still alive
RadiantGabby (2:41:39 PM): obviously that isn't good
enough for you...
Ganesh529 (2:43:05 PM): what do you want, i mena everyday
i spent with you was amazing, just remembering them is a
gift in its self. but i fucked up so i have to live with
my mistake
RadiantGabby (2:43:23 PM): who says so>
Ganesh529 (2:43:55 PM): well i was the one gave it all
away, and why becuase of a stupid dream
RadiantGabby (2:44:56 PM): i had bad dreams too! i still
do, about the night i left. but phil, you're the person i
loved, the only one i can ever say i loved entirly,
there's no one else. and if you don;t see that than i
don't know what to say anymore
Ganesh529 (2:50:07 PM): are you saying that you want to
get back together
RadiantGabby (2:52:31 PM): that's all i've ever wanted....
RadiantGabby (2:52:43 PM): but there's so much more than
what i want involved now
Ganesh529 (2:54:43 PM): i know and i am not ready as a
person to give that, i cant promise marriage, i cant
promise anything cause i dont know what the future has
RadiantGabby (2:55:06 PM): i never asked for you to
promise me anything but the truth
RadiantGabby (2:55:37 PM): it scares the hell outta me
that kevin talks about that stuff, but he does and i laugh
and make a joke of it because i dont want that stuff right
RadiantGabby (2:59:09 PM): i can't believe we're even
having this conversation
RadiantGabby (2:59:16 PM): this is so... stupid of us
Ganesh529 (2:59:19 PM): i know
RadiantGabby (2:59:46 PM): because we're not gonna get
back together.
RadiantGabby (3:00:06 PM): there's too much there for us
to ever ignore... too much that would happen again.
Ganesh529 (3:00:28 PM): we have lives in other places
RadiantGabby (3:00:41 PM): that[s not what i'm talkig
about actually...
Ganesh529 (3:00:58 PM): i know
RadiantGabby (3:01:23 PM): evem if we were together, like
i said, you're a cold person... whether you think you love
me or not, you'd stay cold to me, and i can't take that
Ganesh529 (3:02:00 PM): i am crying right now
Ganesh529 (3:02:08 PM): and you why i am crying
RadiantGabby (3:02:15 PM): why?
Ganesh529 (3:02:19 PM): because you think i am this cold
heartless being
RadiantGabby (3:02:58 PM): i never said heartless, if you
were heartless it wouldn't bother you... but whether you
choose to be or not, you are. otherwise, how could u shut
me out of your life like that? even before I left.
RadiantGabby (3:03:18 PM): and i'm crying too... seems to
be a trend when i think of you
Ganesh529 (3:03:54 PM): yeah seems to be what happens when
i think of you
RadiantGabby (3:04:13 PM): but none of thats enough is it?
Ganesh529 (3:04:27 PM): i dont know, i just dont know
Ganesh529 (3:06:04 PM): how can i know
RadiantGabby (3:06:19 PM): what?
Ganesh529 (3:06:42 PM): of course i love you, i never
Ganesh529 (3:07:03 PM): and perhaps i am a cold person
RadiantGabby (3:08:07 PM): maybe we should step back for a
bit... it did us good in the fall... maybe it would this
time too... we can stop thinking about eachother for a
Ganesh529 (3:08:32 PM): very well
Ganesh529 (3:08:58 PM): i hope i see you in may
RadiantGabby (3:09:04 PM): dont be like thast
Ganesh529 (3:09:16 PM): what
RadiantGabby (3:09:31 PM): "I hope i see you in may" dont
be like that!
Ganesh529 (3:10:10 PM): what should i not want to see you
RadiantGabby (3:10:39 PM): i'm putting my whole life on
hold here to be home for the summer... to see you
hopefully for even one day to be able to talk to you about
all of this is all i want...
Ganesh529 (3:11:09 PM): well that i can so easily promise
Ganesh529 (3:11:55 PM): i am gonna go hit the gym, its
seems to help me think
RadiantGabby (3:11:55 PM): ok, i have to go, i'm meeting
kevin in twenty minutes. i'm gonna call you later, is that
Ganesh529 (3:12:10 PM): yeah i will be in my room
RadiantGabby (3:12:20 PM): ok, ttyl
Ganesh529 (3:12:33 PM): yes you will

Auto response from RadiantGabby (3:12:33 PM): not now

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RadiantGabby (5:35:05 PM): hi again
Ganesh529 (5:35:17 PM): hey
RadiantGabby (5:35:31 PM): just wanted to let you know i
don't think I can call tonight
Ganesh529 (5:35:46 PM): ok
RadiantGabby (5:36:34 PM): just wanted to let you know...
i'm in over my head with this whole 'smoothing things
over' thing, so i'll be busy all night
Ganesh529 (5:37:53 PM): alright, if you need to talk i
will be here
RadiantGabby (5:38:18 PM): ok, i may, i don't know, this
seems to be an all night project, but i'll try. buh byes
Ganesh529 (5:38:28 PM): bye
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RadiantGabby (12:45:46 AM): hey, i know you're not
there... just wanted to say I'm thinking of you. g'night

Auto response from Ganesh529 (12:45:47 AM): shower time

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