sweetiepiefuckface

Getting My Grub On
2003-02-24 16:09:29 (UTC)

My Mark

Today's entry will not be as long as previous ones, I
think...mainly because I have to get ready to go to my
volunteer job at a community arts center.

Whoever thinks the dating scene is easy is a fucking liar.
I put myself out there, baring my soul, allowing my heart
to become exposed (if only for a split second), and shit
doesn't work out. It's almost enough to make a girl stop
trying. But I won't. I can't. I am on a mission. The
fall in love mission.

sound pathetic?

All I ask is that you just wait and see before judging me.
Maybe my soul predictions will come true, and maybe I will
just go back to not seeking and will wait, patiently.
That's when it always happens, you know... when you're not
looking for it then WHAM right in your face, something
happens. But it has to be a real 'not looking for it' or
it won't work. Hah. I make it out to sound like it is all
this big game, and I guess, in a way it is.

What are we all, if not striving in our lifetimes to make a
mark on this world, on someone else's heart, to make a
difference to our generation? What are we, but slaves to
the whispering in our heads, telling us to hold on, to
breathe, it will be okay. If we are not those, we are the
OTHERS, the ones who give up and start the process of
dying. I refuse to lie down in the dirt and let the worms
have at me. Not yet, not before I've made my mark.

I won't give up until I've made my mark or at least pissed
my name in the snow, which ever comes first.

August




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