*MS JLYN*

*ALL CRIED OUT OVER U*
2001-09-28 19:51:44 (UTC)

Sept. 28, 2001.....WEEKEND......

Today is Friday and I have to work....THAT SUCKS :q I'm
so sick of working. I just want to chill and have no
worries. I'm planning to talk to Al and tell him that I
don't want any more than 20 hours a week. I mean, I get
sick of having to go to work everyday except Wednesday. And
if I want Sunday, a day to worship and relax, I have to
beg. That shouldn't be like that. But I'm about to fix the
problem, so I will just leave it at this. Anyway, I talked
to Leroy today. :) My phone cut off and I didn't feel
like calling him back. It was an okay conversation. It was
like one of those broken up conversations....the ones that
are like.....what did you say or huh.....it was okay
though. He said he might try to come down next week for
homecoming. It would be great to see him, but I know much
of his time is going to spent with Scoop. So, I can't
really hype myself up too much about it....ya know!

This is something that I've tried to keep out of my entries
because it's stupid....but I'm going to touch on it this
one and only entry. Okay......RUMORS....why do people feed
off of them? I don't know why people are so concerned about
me. Here are some rumors I heard about myself:

1)When I went to Atlanta, me and Leroy had sex.
2)When I went to Atlanta, me and Scoop got in an argument.
3)I've messed with every boy at Baldwin High.
....and my personal favorite....I'm pregnant by Leroy.

I say....the things people think to say. All I can really
do is laugh about it because it's sooo ridiculous. I swear
I hear something new about myself every week. This isn't
the first year that I've had this happen to me. It use to
bother me, but I realized that your true friends won't
bring no trash to you like that. See, those who run to tell
you stuff like that are fake because if they heard
something like that and they are suppose to be your friend
then they would have dismissed it because they know it
isn't true...and they know you don't care about childish
stuff like that. I don't see it as a matter of a true
friend would tell you stuff like that....that to me is
bullshit....rumors are nothing but negative little lies and
anyone who brings to your attention those nasty, lil things
are 95% negative themselves. That's just the way I see it.
I know I'm probably more mature than most of the seniors at
that school, so when all this rumor stuff goes on...I just
distance myself from it. So when people think I'm stuck up
because I'm not all in the CUT(pathway between 400 hall and
200 hall) gossiping about what such-&-such did yesterday
with Billy Bob...ya know what...I guess I am stuck up
towards ignorance.

IGNORANCE....I hate it and I think it's what keeps
us from being truly happy as a whole. Today, we had a
conversation about blacks not having the same opportunities
as white people. Okay, the class that I'm in is already
split up as is...black on one side and white on the
other....the white people kept saying that all black people
are given the same chances as white people. They say we
have affirmative action backing us up, while they have
nothing. WHAT IN THE HELL...SOMEONE WAS SPANKED WITH THE
IGNORANT STICK THIS MORNING! I think that was pure
ignorance speaking because for one, I, myself, knowing that
I can only find myself getting a job in a predominantly
white-male corporation because I'm black and female is not
going to make me feel like a million dollars. I found out
today that a lot of white people think we live in this
world where racism no longer exist. I'm not mad at them,
but they don't see the everyday struggle we as a black
people go through. I guess as I get older, I see a lot of
truth. I don't care what anyone says...everyone has a
little bit of racism in them. I didn't think I did, but I
do. I wasn't born with it, but as I become older...I gain
it. This world that we live in is not peachy keen like we
pretend it to be. There is a lot of dirty stuff going on
and you have to open your eyes to it....*J*