Amnesia

dude
2003-02-23 11:36:37 (UTC)

My computer is back

So my dad, like everyone else, knew a guy that is related
to a guy that is into fising computers and stuff. So he
just flew in from Poland for 2 weeks and we tossed some
work in his face. We spent 270 dollars on parts, cause this
computer, when it comes to technology years, is a grandpa.
It's great to be back.

Hey guess what. I saw the funniest lord of the rings
(Orlando Bloom) fanatic shirts. It sais: Je veux monsieur
Orlando. Which translates into I want Mr. Orlando. At first
I thought it meant like there's a mr. universe, there
prabobly is a mr. Orlando. If it were l.o.t.r. then it
would have been monsieur Bloom.

Which reminds me, it's sunday and we have French Club
tomorrow. I'm finally getting the dance for international
days. Practice at home does help. Too bad that I'm prabobly
one of the only people practicing. When I come to the club
no one knows what were suppose to do when. Were not even
done choreagraphing the first part with the techno. We're
close though. But international days are in March, and it's
almost March. We still haven't even begun to stretch, or
choreograph the can can. Our costumes look swell though. We
have to pitch in almost 20 bucks for the stuff that the
club doesn't fund. Like the stuff we get to keep, which
consist of garters, panty hose (nets), chokers, and we have
to buy our own shoes if we don't have any like the ones we
need. The ones we need would be something like MaryJanes on
a heel, and not so thick. I don't have shoes like that. I
don't think I would really wear shoes like that. This one
girl has them, in red.

If I do buy something like that, I want them black. I
think. Then I can wear it with more stuff. Then again, I do
have 2 pairs of black pants, and one pair of red. I'm not
sure they would go well with the red pants. I do have a red
pleaded skirt which shoes like that, in red would be great.
But it all depends on the shade of red. The pants are a
different shade, and it would look kind of weird. It all
depends on the shirt then.

I'm getting kinda testy with clothes. I got payed today.
Two weeks ago I didn't feel like going to the bank and cash
in 30 dollars, plus get the other 30 for lunch money and
other shit. It's kinda discomforting, and unincouraging
when you get one check every 2 weeks, and it only contains
60 dollars total on it. Then again, who gets payed for
doing theatre when their 18. Or just 14 to 19. With a free
trip to Germany for 5 weeks. Plus help to find colleges or
scholarships?

Today I made an appointment with tina. She's the chick that
helps us with the whole college search. So I'm greateful.
Especially since I found out that Columbia gives a FULL 4
year scholarship to people who want to go to Columbia and
are linked in with freestreet. So spiffy. There's only two
candidates so far. They might get me for the next years
thing though cause I want to miss a semester to work and go
to Germany. (I wouldn't be able to go to college right
after summer without going nuts.)

In other freestreet news, since I got the computer I
finally checked out the 3 reviews of the shows I went to
see. Alright. I've got the most reviews up there. Even more
then Helene and she's in Pang, she's been in this for quite
a while and loves doing reviews. I'm glad the computer is
back so I can start doing reviews on and sending them to
the company. (Yeah Germany, I can't wait till I'll be
there.)

Our most recent performance will be performed on the stairs
of the Atheniam at 7, fri. and sat. in march. We got the
script today. Vince and I polished it off quite nicely
forming a few scenes that would make sense out of all the
chaos going on there. I got asked if I play a musical
instrument. I said I HAVE an electric guitar. Playing it is
another story. I only know one song and not so well. I
should have added I like to freestyle, it's practically all
that I do, but I doubt I would be able to harmonize. Which
is true.

Last freestreet went kinda tough for me. I was given the
abstraction "An angel in the devils pocket." So I'm
thinking oh, this is kinda like me. So I can just be
myself. That was too hard, and to quiet. I started thinking
of angels and devils. Being thoretical creatures both of
them, I couldn't pass it off as judgement. Judgement stops
the acting process so much. So much as to the point where I
established a want. But I wasn't sure how to react when I
didn't get it. I mean, would an angel really get upset?
Would it ever kick anyone or fight with them? I did because
nothing phisical was hapening, but I felt bad about it in
the end so I stopped it.

So I've got 70 bucks in my wallet and about 70 in my bank
account. Now I'm a happy camper. I can buy lunch, pay for
the stuff I need for French club, get that sewing machine
I've been wanting for days, and still have some cash left
over. I won't have to ask for this stuff then. I dislike
asking. More then that I dislike asking for money. More
then that, I dislike not getting what I want. Well, maybe
it's a little less disliked than I say.

Point being is that I've tried to hook up the few points
that I finally have money, I dislike clothes/clothe
shopping, and want to buy this handheld sewing machine from
Walgreens if it's still ther for just 13 dollars. I was
saving for a normal one before. I lost my passion to sew
though, when I realized I don't have the skill for it. But
I am sick and tired of clothes. If the world wouldn't be
such a cold, judgemental, and sexual place I'd be walking
around but naked. Unfortunately I don't think that, that
would be accepted in school policy. Oh well. I want to make
my own clothes. My head has been swarming with ideas.
First, the sewing machine, then practice on some clothes I
don't wear anymore or the T-Shirts I only seem to sleep in
and do freestreet. Yeah, that would work.

I'm tired. Don't remember what else I wanted to write cause
it's 5:30 in the morning and the reason I'm not sleeping I
might have to expain on the next entry, but I don't
remember that many details about it anymore. Good thing.

I had a really scary dream that seemed to be close to real.
I was in 1/2 sleep. I always try to tell myself to leave my
body and astral project. That thought either doesn't ever
come to mind when you're in such a state, or when it does,
and you try, you wake up faster. This time though, I just
did it wrong. Instead of thinking of getting out of my
body, for some reason I created something evil in my dream.
It was a kind of trophy with this guy on top. I couldn't
see him very well, but I sensed something was not right.
Especially because I just conjured something up. So I go to
sleep. Next thing I know, the little guy is coming toward
me from the left and tries to pinch me. I stopped him since
I started moving noticing the fact that something is
definately not right when a little fake silver guy starts
moving towards you trying to clasp his hands. I grabbed him
and ran for my brothers that for some reason were taking
pictures in the living room. (They took some pictures
earlier yesterday with the dog. )

So I woke up. But I had a hard time going to sleep before
anyway. My eyelids were still heavy after I awoke, and for
the first 10 minutes or so, I was wondering if I should try
to go back to sleep or get up. Which would be more
frightening. So I thought going back to the realm of the
dreams is worse. Since I'm trying to get away from the
dream. It was realish though. That's when my savage garden
cd was on the ideal song, and the ideal line for what I was
going through. It comforted me greatly. "The monsters in
your head." Then again, this might have been set off
because of my change of nightly music.

Well it's over now. Thankfully. So I think I'm gonna update
my stuff and stuff. Maybe do some homework, read, install
some programs, but first, I was thinking of writing to
Kayne. I don't know why I just kinda thought of him. I
still owe him a picture I think, but that's not gonna
happen until i purchase new batteries for my camera.
So toodles.

-Amnesia