Dala

Dala
2003-02-23 05:07:36 (UTC)

Angst Schmangst

I don't know. It's been a weird couple of days.

Like: I have a funeral to attend so I got a new dress. That
is weird to me.

Devoting much time, energy, and plotlines to suicidal!
Harry, who is one of the more blatant extensions of myself
(to a greater degree of course. I'm no more suicidal that
your average seventeen year old girl. Most of the time
anyway.) Only I have no Draco to trace my scars. And I
really only have a couple of scars. The one on my thigh
where I got scratched by a horseshoe crab (we think anyway)
that time at the beach with Steph. The weird lightning-bolt
scar on the knuckle of my first finger on my left hand. I
don't know where it came from, I've always had it. The one
on my bottom lip where I once bit it really really hard
(not on purpose). I think that's it. Oh, and the one on my
left ankle where I cut myself shaving. Actually that one
might be faded by now, I don't feel like checking.

There's a lot of shit to deal with in life, you know that?

Yeah, I feel like making broad generalizations. Senseless
ones. Pointless ones. Think this is a good time to live by
myself in a cave for awhile. Anyone know of any good
unoccupied caves?

I will be Cave Girl. Crazy Cave Girl Who Used To Be A Gay
Gay Boy And Used To Care About Things And Now Just Spends
Her Time Thrashing About Crying "Why? *Why*?

I really think I just need a new environment. I want to go
to college very very badly. Of course once I get there I
will probably want to come right back home, but you take
your lumps as they come.

For some reason today, there was a patient named John, and
I had the sudden random thought that I am going to marry a
man named John. No further explanation.

Had a very epic dream last night. Too bad I can't remember
most of it. I remember that it had something to do with
school in the beginning. I was late to Ms. Lartigue's
class. There was some kind of conspiracy (I dream about
adult conspiracies a lot). The only part that still sticks
in my memory is that I was in a car with a newly married
couple and these guys (presumably members of the
aforementioend conspiracy) were trying to get in. There
were like six people in this little car and we were
knocking the bad guys' heads against the ceiling and into
the windows. It's so easy to hurt people in dreams, even to
kill them.

Shit. There's some fucking noise outside. Maybe the
neighbors got locked out or something.

Sigh.

Wayne Gretzky . . . the only man I'd have sex with
Wayne Gretzky . . . think he's kinda sexy
Oh I wonder what it would be like
To have sex with the Great One
Oh I wonder what it would be like
To have sex with the league's leading scorer
Wayne Gretzky . . . I know he's a married man
But maybe
He'd be attracted to me
Darren Pfeifer
Stupid American boy
Wayne Gretzky
I love you Wayne Gretzky

Jennifer Lopez . . . she's a bitch

(GOLDFINGER)

"YOU MUST CHILL. YOU MUST CHILL."
--John Cusack, "Say Anything"




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