Stream of Consciousness
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2003-02-22 07:14:18 (UTC)


im sitting watching a movie when beth messages me. she
tells me she wants to go back out with me. im going to
level with you diary. everything i have said about her in
the past. all the bad things. everything i said in the
hopes that maybe i would believe it. all lies. im a liar.
and the truth? i love beth with every last etheral
component of my soul. just the thought of her makes me
confused, angry, weak, scared, happy......happy. all at
once. i hope this is real. i hope this isnt an illusion. i
hope im not being fucked with. i will find out when she
calls me tomorrow. i need this to be real. i have one
heart, and it used to be big. that last 3 years have taken
thier toll. my heart can no longer afford to give pieces of
itself away. i hope this is real. i miss her so much i ache
in the depths of my physical being just to hold her. shizzam

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