neilhinds

the secrets of bluefire...uncovered
2003-02-21 22:23:00 (UTC)

confuzzled2

i dont really know what im going to write here. i just
felt ike typing. so. maybe i will write story? no. too
much thinking involved.

I am trying to be friends with kat. is that bad thing?
only. the thing is. she doesnt reply or respond to any of
my txts. when i know shes got money on her fone. I told
her i still want to be friends. and she said she did. and
once again. am i being naive to believe it. as her not
responding makes me think she is angry at me. but how can
she be angry at me. i dont think i have done anything
wrong. sure getting peeeved on wednesday may have pissed
her off. but surely she didnt expect me (who was drunk) to
stay all calm and quiet after she continued to hurt me all
night by getting off with someone in front of me..again
and again ands again and again. heh. guess my friends were
right. I honestly dont understand how people can be
so "fucked up and cold" (incubus lyrics..although in
incubus, they say not everyone here is that fucked up or
cold). and i know kat reads these. and i hope she doesnt
think i hate her, because i dont, and cant. i know i
should feel hate. but i dont, i feel anger. pissed off.
but they will pass. oh booger, i have confused my mind
again. fooock. oh well. back to college on monday to see
kat. hopefully will be able to sort stuff out. if she
doesnt want to be my friend, she needs help. cause i
havent done anything wrong. and she should cherish my
friendship. well. we will see eh. i will keep all you
crazy readers (which is none) updated as we go.




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