Well, it was more of an internship fair. 3 of the
companies i was interested in showed up....sweet. first i
went to KB Toys, I can't resist the KB in front of the
Toys. now either I"m a christing moron or the
interviewers (yes there wer 2) are insanely stupid. i
told them my major and bullshitted about what i would do,
and the one was like.e"so you want a management
What!? no! christ, i want an internship, so they tell me
they have a fall opurtunity. , shit, if i wanted a fall
internship i would have written that on my resume, so now
i'm no longer interested, i've tuned out, but hey're still
droning on like two incessant buzzing bees. now i look
around me and observe as they y ap their way along. to my
left is this short fat guy who seems like he's about to
burst out of his suit. his neck is all bunched up like an
accordion and is resting in a mass of unsightly flesh
above his collar. next to him is this guy with a
practiced obsequious demeanor who clutches his resume
folder like a crackhead holding his last creack rock. i
can see him wheezing from here and his perspiration is
disgusting me from afar.
i notice this is one of the few places where girls don't
look like sluts when they dress up so atleast htat's
pleasant, cos we all know they're here for male viewing
finally they shut up and i take my leave and head to
capital one. it's going good, and i'm getting a hard on
for the job when the guy says,
"so could you take a test today?"
"yes we just want to make sure yout hink like us"
apparently he saw my apprehensive look and quickly added,
"you know we want to see your analytical skills"
nice try big brother....next!
so i'm standing in line for my last interview and i have
annoying ass over confident full of bullshit guy in front
of me. he wsa talking to a girlfriend of his who seemed
really nervous. he was saying how it was no big deal for
HIM. well that's great. boy he musta gathered all the
bullshit possible eaten it with a ladle, then practiced
regurgitating it to the interviewers.
"what is YOUR favorite aspect of the company?" - he'd ask.
ooooooo socrates is turning the table what a fucking
you kno i'd make a great interviewer. i mean i'd love to
hold people's futures in my hand then cursh them like a
peanut m&m. i mean i love talking to people and heraing
them, plus i wouldn't follow the formulaic approach.
instead of "what are of our company are you intreested
in," i'd ask "what would you do if i bit you in the nuts