kaekay

Reality Check
2001-09-27 23:32:27 (UTC)

It all comes down to reality

I've realized something. Whenever I have a problem in the
end, i try to picture the reality of the situation, and it's
fixed. Lately I've been trying to decide whether to dump
Jimmy and start dating Adam. Well....that is the hardest
choice in my life right now. But, the basic reality is, I
can picture a future with Jimmy, and with Adam I can't. Adam
is so irresistable, and it's going to be hard, but i can't
be with him. Jimmy's for me right now. Oh, and I'm off
groundation now, so tomorrow night i'm headed to the
football game and afterwards a little celebration (in my
honor for getting off restriction) at the allie. I love
being loved...haha...j/k. Well...Hank's back. He brought me
a watch and necklace and some earings, all fake of course.
He's a cheap son of a bitch. He brought a dress that's
gorgeous, but it's too big for me. i was like, if i get
pregnant any time soon, i'll wear it, but i doubt highly
that that'll happen. But I'm glad to have him back. I really
missed him...but i'll never admit it. He's got a mustache
now, and he looks a lot better to me. I really don't want to
stay home this weekend. It's my first weekend off
restriction in 2 months. But I can't stay with anybody cause
half of my friends my mom don't like and doesn't want me at
their house and the other half have friends or i really
don't like em enough to stay at their house. God, this girl,
Ashley....she's super tight with Jimmy. They've known each
other all their life, so they're like family basically. But
they are always hanging over each other. Jimmy told me she
does it to try to make me mad, cause she wants him all to
herself and she can't have him. Well, you know what? that
ugly ass bitch is going to get her ass kicked if she don't
cool it. and not by me....by my friends. i didn't tell them
to do it, but i was almost in tears, because me and Ashley
got into an argument this morning and she pushed me and made
me slam my head into a wall. so i back handed her so hard
that she fell back on a chair, which slipped out from under
her, and that made her fall on the floor. Guess who jimmy
goes to comfort? Ashley. He walked her to her class, and
totally brushed me off today. I'm sorry if i acted out of
line when i hit her back, but first of all she shouldn't
have been up in my face about something as ignorant as that.
She was angry cause Jimmy was spending his Friday night
with me and not her. Second of all, she shouldn't have even
touched me let alone slam me up against the wall. i have a
temper fuse about a millimeter long, and nobody, especially
no ugly little skank like her, touches me. He talked with me
at the end of the day and apologized. She's still being the
biggest bitch in the world. You know what, i've already
asked him to chose...me or her....and he has made his
choice. he's still with me and that's the way it's going to
be and i think she needs to get over. ugh! she just makes me
so mad. and some of the things she gets mad about are so
ignorant for a 16 year old. She is so childish. Yesterday
she had a hickey on her neck from her boyfriend and she went
around sayin, look what i got. i think that's a little bit
slutty. i get hickeys, but i don't sit there and flash them
to everybody. but anyways, i better go cause michael's
online and i need to fill him in on the update of downtown
newport gossip....haha.




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