love and sex and miss-matched socks
2003-02-21 04:44:43 (UTC)

one and only

Met an amazing guy. They all seem to be amazing, and all
seem to beat the rest at the same time I date them, and I
say this every time I find someone new, but he is
different. He is special. Kind and gentle and sweet and
romantic. I bought him fish for valentines day, they
died... when I bought them I was stupid, but i decided to
use them as a metaphor. Fish live, we stay together. Now,
not even a week later both of the stupid orange and red
fish are dead. dead. So I change my mind. How could I
think to compare our relationship to something with such a
great risk. ANYWAYS. All of this doesnt matter.

We havent been together very long. Long enough I suppose.
Long enough to know what I feel and what is real. We made
love for the first time last night. After endless hours of
talking, giggling, petting and making out... it just felt
right. Amazing. Everything I could wish for. I have a
question. If anyone out there can relate... please please
do not hesitate to leave a response.

SITUATION: The first time I climaxed with Justin, it was
the most amazing experience I have ever had happen to me.
About 30 seconds afterwards - full of dead on eye contact,
slow deep thrusts, and silence, i felt this wave of
emotion. I couldnt help but cry. All I wanted to do was
lay there and be held. Tears fell down my face, saved by
the warm and embracing arms of my lover.

QUESTION: Why????????? why cry? I felt so good. So loved.
So accepted... i should have had the biggest smile
possible. Or laugh like I mean it. I should have expressed
it in some other way. Crying. I lay there limp, not able
to do anything except cry and be held. I am so scared. I
am dead scared. I do not think I have ever been this deep
into a relationship. Justin is like a black hole. All i
think and all i feel is pulled out of me. There is no way
to resist the vacumm. No way to slow it down. I love him.
I am in love. That is why I feel this way. I am in love.
There is no other way to describe everything. The way I
feel next to him riding down the street. The way I feel
when he lays his lips on my forehead. Whispers of nothing
in my ear, down my neck. Finger tips running carefully up
and down my stomache, like a cat pacing a fence. Magnetic
eyes. Eyes of gold and green. So powerful it hurts to
stare, too beautiful to resist.

If God were to ask me to make a list of all the qualities
I want in a man, it would have been my Justin.

**welcome to Miranda world**

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