.Scream Your Dream.
Feeling Left Out.....
so its been a few days since ive written, which is a shame
cause ive had a lot of things to say, its thursday now, and
i came come in the last 30 mins, wow, thats a first, its
not even 3:30 and im home, for nearly the past 2 weeks ive
been out after school, one thing or another, mainly
chilling at the pizza gallery or at mark's house, its a
good thing too, that i didnt go today, i was begining to
feel like a saturday morning TV cliche. scary.
jarred makes me want him, thats so bad, but its just the
way he acts, the way hes been acting, of man, all we ever
have our "talks" him an i, and alicia knows it, i felt so
bad yesterday, it was her birthday, and I was spending time
with him, but i liked it. damn, alicia and i are cool
i have realized thigns that have shocked me a whole lot,
untill recent weeks, i always thougt of my friends as
reatiely good kids, clean kids, straight edge kids, who
dont do drugs and have sex and drink, (me as the exception
of course, i was always feeling awkward, not smoking or
anything around them and keeping my experiances/ect to my
self) and all of a sudden, with in a few days, lo and
behold to sarah, hardly any of them are virgins, it shocked
me about andrew (not so much about lauren) but andrew
definately, will also shocked me, thought it shouldnt have,
but it did, i should have know, obviosuly, about stephanie,
but it just didnt occur to me, and then i ask last night
and he admits it. jarred's a good kid. but, yes, him and
alicia, do, in fact, mess around (thought that didnt
suprise me as much) i guess in retrospect all those things
steve and i did dont seem so "un-heard-of" even at my age,
in one of my classes today, i look around and thught about
all the kds i underestimted the sexuality of, it blows hte
mind (no pun intended).
the boy, in front of me, in algebra, i talked to him
several times over hte past 2 days, hes so weird, but thats
whitney came to school today, she made me smile to see her,
it was really fun to talk to her, and it made me sad, cause
i realized how much i miss her. i think she is truly
bisexaul, not one of those fake bitches that jsut do it to
get get boys. she should dumb matt and go for missy, she
seems so much better than matt, hes a jerkface.
i got my american dj catalogs in the mail : ) yes.
wait before you hang up the phone
listen to reason
i'll show you im trying to change
im trying to change