pixze

Pixze Notes
2003-02-20 23:29:40 (UTC)

2/20/03

I hate arguing. If I had my way I would never have to argue
ever. And everytime I get mad, I end up crying which doesnt
help me any either. Sometimes Nick just makes me want to
explode, he doesnt see where it is wrong to go to the bar
with an ex-girlfriend that for somereason cant come over
and meet me but she can come over when I am not here. She
cant even come in the house if she picks him up, she calls
him from her cell phone from her car when she is in the
parking lot. How is that suppose to make me feel. Any
girlfriend in her right mind would be pissed off. He says
well none of his friends want to meet me. Well shows how
important I am to him. Then today he got mad because I
thought he said curly fries but he wanted onion rings when
I went to Burger King. They dont sell curly fries there so
I got him regular fries. When I came home he flipped out
because I forgot his onion rings. I told him I am sorry but
he just explodes. He was yelling how I never remember
anything and how I am always screwing up blah blah that
whole shmeal. He seems to think that I never have anything
on my mind. But I have alot on my mind all the time. I
cant even seem to do any artwork because it is like
everything that I want to express on paper is soo backed up
inside my head that I cant get it out. Its like it is all
trying to get out at the same time instead of one at a time
and the hole its trying to get out is not big enough for it
to all push out. ANd like in that senario it is adventually
going to burst. Explode. I always feel like i am going to
explode. I told him last night that I am just going to stop
having feelings cuz they dont matter to him. He might say
he loves me and cares for me. But I have realized over
andover again that he only cares enough. The minimum amount
that he has to to get on. If you dont show your feelings
you cant get hurt right?




Ad: