Student of Rhythm

Put your message in a modem, and throw i
2001-09-27 14:54:52 (UTC)

What now?

I should have known, yes I did know, that I would have a
hard time writing in this frequently, or maybe I should say
that I would not write in this frequently. I feel nervous
about writing an online diary, because I don't know who's
going to read it, and that's the problem, I think: I want
to know who's going to read it, or at least I want to know
someone will read it, because otherwise it would be more
convenient for me to just write in my notebook.

On the other hand, since I don't have my laptop anymore, I
can use this as a replacement of the electronic journal I
used to keep on floppy disks. This may prove to be a more
convenient storage method than floppy disks - IF I have
constant internet access.

That said, i'm remembering now, remeniscing a bit about
that autumn two years ago, when my life really was not easy
but now looking back on it it seems like it was. Autumn of
1999 is my Golden Age right now, probably because there
were still so many things that hadn't yet been decided,
hadn't happened yet. I was a junior in college and I could
have changed my major at that point. I could have gone
back to just being friends with Heather and started dating
other girls. I was living in the Spanish House and I would
ride my bike home from class up the hill and go under the
trees with yellow leaves that were brilliant and beautiful
when it was cloudy.

I had a dream last night that I was riding a bike and I
tried to take my hands off the handlebars, because I can do
that; I taught myself maybe that fall, but I think it may
have been the following spring. Anyway, in this dream I
couldn't do it and I almost crashed. I haven't ridden a
bike in four months. My thighs are flabby and I'm out of
shape. It's very annoying.