Booshwa

All That I Am
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2003-02-20 02:20:58 (UTC)

Beyond Oblivion

Hello journal. I'm in a pretty lazy and mellow mood right
now and don't really know what to talk about. I was reading
the latest issue of Men's Health today and there was this
article on religion that was very interesting. I didn't
finish all of it but it got me thinking of religion and
life and death.

Since I've had the misfortune of growing up around a lot of
ignorant practioners, I'm kind of repulsed by
Christianity/Catholicism. ALL of the christians/catholics
that I've encountered so far in life have been hypocrits.
And that's the hardest thing for me to understand with
religion. How can you have this structured belief system
that specifically tells you how to go about life, and tells
you the consequences if you fail to do so, yet still go
against it? If the penalty for faltering is spending an
eternity in hell or purgatory and not the bliss of heaven,
why would you deviate from that path? How is it that a lot
of them (catholics/christians) can go around telling other
people how to live there lives and how they're sining, but
then go home and do the exact same thing? My ex-friend,
Rosie Velez, is very interesting. She used to live by this
strick denomination way back when (Pentacostal I think,
hell if I know all the denominations but it was super
strick!) that told her that women were subservient to men
and had to wear skirts everywhere and raise the kids and
basically be housewives. She ended up leaving that
particular denomination, saying that they really messed her
up in the head and they were bad for her. Now that is what
gets me with the religious types I've encountered, if they
don't like something about their religion, they change it
or just change religions! How can you do that? Especially
in a religion like Christianity/Catholicism where YOU are
just a little insect like thing serving this all-powerful
God. What gives you the right to just change what he/she/it
has decreed? Afterall aren't YOU suppose to change your
lifestyle to fit religion, not the other way around?

You know what I think? I think people are just scared,
they're scared of the consquences if they don't act a
certain way or believe a certain thing. That's why I
decided to ditch the whole religion thing long ago because
I choose not to live my life by a belief system that would
have me think less of myself, live in fear, and judge others because
they're different. You take a religion like Buddhism for instance,
now I'm in no way a scholar when it comes to this
particular religion, but from what I've gathered there is
no God to worship and the biggest message is that we're all
the same despite our differences. We're all apart of the
same planet, same universe, and just because we talk
different, look different, and act different, doesn't mean
that we can't appreciate and love each other because of it!
I honestly can't stand that Christianity tries to
assimilate damn near everything!

I watched this movie for Cultural Anthropology once were
they did a 10 year study on this tribe of Indians in South
America. When the researchers first started filming them
(can't remember the tribe name), they were running around
naked living off the land and everyone seemed so happy and
care free. Then a big oil/gas company from the U.S. had
just bought the Indians' land from the government and
starting drilling for oil. There were negotiations between
the company and tribes and the company promised them that
they wouldn't destroy the land while drilling and they
could still live there. Now fast forward a year or so and
the Indians are all running around in clothes, their water
is black from the oil run off, they're speaking broken
english, and the tribes are fighting amongst themselves.
What I forgot to tell you from the first year too is that
the oil company brought in a missionary team to help smooth
over Indian/oil company relations. The head of the
missionary was this old woman who, when speaking to the
researchers, said that they hoped to enlighten these
savages. Savages? This was done in the 80's, I figured
educated people didn't call them savages anymore, anyways.
Now back to a year or so later and the researchers are
interviewing the town elder and he said, "I'm glad the
missionaries came and showed us the true path....We're no
longer barbaric anymore and are now god-fearing people.". I
think everyone in the class room had a disgusted look on
their face at that point. And the point to that whole
story/flashback, if that's what Christianity is then I'll
have no part in it. That was just sad, there has been so
much killing and harm done in the name of religion you
would think that people would catch on and ditch it.

See this wasn't suppose to be a long entry but everytime I
get into religion it hits a hot spot. There is good that comes from
religion though, I do have some good friends that are open-minded and
just good people and yet believe in god and all that jazz. Whatever
floats your boat. My mom, who has never been a big religious
person (openly anyways), has started praying at the dinner
table and trying to drag my brothers into church now. I
think with her though, age and the realization of her
mortality is starting to play a big factor. She's going to
be 40 next month and she's about half way through her life,
things start to slow down from here on out. I wonder if
I'll turn to religion when my time starts to wane. I'm
afraid of death just like anybody else but I would have to
lose all rational thought before I believe in any of this
crap. And yes I said crap! When I'm around my religious
friends I'm not as blunt but I'll be honest, It's all
garbage cooked up to control people. And what better way to have
people follow your ways then to threaten them
with eternal damnation? I don't know what lies beyond
oblivion but then again I didn't know how existence was
before April 26, 1980. Maybe there is just nothing....all
the more reason to live life now for all it's worth! Talk
to ya later journal.


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