Ultima

Bless Me
2003-02-19 20:28:47 (UTC)

Still as lost and tourmented as ever.

Bless me,
I've never felt more lost or alone in my life. I wake
up wanting to cry. I am on my own. Somtimes I feel like I
can't go on any more everything bothers me. Why just why
cant my life go right for once? Am I not deserving. Now
that I think of it no. I'm not. And yes. I am. If god
wanted to be repay me if he ever felt in debt to me ever he
might want to make my life work out in some great way. But
if he wanted to he would also turn and say why don't you
beleive in me the way you should. I don't want to take a
break from god. I know now more than ever that I need him
here with me. I can only assume that he is angry at me for
not being with him totaly. I don't know what is wrong with
me any more I used to think it was my dad but now I don't
know what it is my dad is a part of it but just not as big
as it used to be.

I'm lost in a forest with no sunlight and its getting
darker. And lately I feel the wolves hot breath on my
flesh, I am about to die. And the sad thing is no one
knows it but me. I am being burried alive. I've dreamt
twice of the devil and both times I befriended him. Whats
wrong with me. If I stopped hoping I would be done for.
Someone be my flashlight to get out of this place. Please!
PLEASE help me. I'm dying.


love,
veronique




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