The Stranger
2003-02-19 18:43:49 (UTC)


today is another day and its snowing. AGAIN!! mattie is
great a little wiggle here and there:) anyway i know youll
read this graham so have fun :):)
i met graham about a year and a half ago and we did
everything extra backwards. he was an obnoxious little shit
but i liked it he had this irritating way of making you
laugh even if what he said was mean and he was really cute
we met officially at my friend phils house in october of my
senior year right before i left my dads house. we didnt
hang out hard core or anything. im not quite sure what we
were exactly i know we went on a date to white castles once
lol. anyway we ended up sleeping together like right away
and after that we just kinda stopped talking i got pissed
did something mean to him or tried and we ended up hating
each other. i left my dads house and went to live with my
mom and i think i called him outta the blue or sent him a
text message or soemthing i guess i was trying to apologize
or something after a while of talking we became friends
again we didnt see much of each other though because i
lived on the other side of town but things didnt go too
well with my mom so i came back to the hill and lived with
my gramma we tried something again but we both didnt need a
reationship at the time so friends with uh benifits is what
we were technically lol THE SEX WAS/IS GREAT!!! we tried it
again the middle of june and everything was great i knew
that i really really had feelings for him and apparently he
had feelings for me too but i took a dare from my friend
mike (grahams best guy friend) to run down the street butt
ass naked at like midnight and that really upset graham and
try as i did he wouldnt forgive me at the time for it. it
was just a joke something stupid i did and i understand why
he was upset i just wish i never would have done it. we
broke up and i was miserable he wouldnt even talk to me for
like two weeks and then it was kinda weird because i knew i
really had hurt him !!way to go beth you screwed up again!!
but i left for vegas very shortly afterwards and graham
became my cherry flavored life savor when i got stuck out
in california im not sure where i would be right now if he
hadnt told his mom what had happened to me and she sent me
that bus ticket i owe both of them everything (thank you
thank you !!) i was home at last living with my gramma
again but it wasnt like it was before i wasnt out drinking
and partying i stuck around the house alot then i woke up
one night and knew something wasnt right i knew i was
pregnant and i was so scared. i knew that my family would
be ok with it eventually but i was scared to death that
mike and graham were going to disown me i went to the
pregnancy center on August 28, 2002 and found out that i
was right. i told my dad that night which couldnt have been
a worse time to say dad im pregnant because my sister angie
had just swallowed an entire 25 count bottle of tylenol
that afternoon, "just to see what it would feel like" and
my parents found out that stephanie my other little sister
was smoking weed and drinking but they knew and that was a
major weight off my shoulders but i still had to tell my
friends and i was really worried how they would react so
that sunday september 1, 2002 was the WEBN labor day
fireworks and we all went i was a wreck the whole time i
didnt know how to tell them towards the end of the
fireworks i sent graham a message and asked him to sit with
me he did:) but the reason behind that was if he did disown
me after i told him about the baby at least i had one last
really good memory of us we all met back up at gregs house
after the fireworks were over and i told everyone one by
one leaving graham and mike for last. thankfully everyone
was ok with it and so was graham mike i saved for the very
last because i knew he would take it the hardest and i was
right mike kind of took it better than i thought he would
but it was still pretty bad he kind of avoided me for a
while but i guess he just needed time to get used to the
idea and that was ok. graham and i did our thing for a
while but he stopped it. then he started seeing brandi.
that was difficult for me to see but there wasnt anything i
could do but pretend i was happy for him and hide my
misery. i hated those months but he was still my best
friend so i dealt with it.brandi and graham broke up around
thanksgiving and we started spending alot of time together
he was fascinated with the idea that my stomach was getting
bigger and there was a baby in there and i think he was
actually excited about it i decided to make his mom Sue and
my grammas friend Pat the god mothers. i went out to see
darin in california in december and the whole time i wished
i was at home with graham i wrote him a letter and told him
everything how i felt about him how much i needed him in my
life one way or another and how much he meant to me he came
to the airport with my gramma and my sisters to get me
after my plane landed from california he wrote me back but
im not sure if he remembers anything he wrote. but since
ive been back weve pretty much spoken to or seen each other
everyday. he got me the greatest pajamas for christmas and
his mom and sister went crazy with stuff for me and mattie
who at the time i thought was a maggie but thats ok i had a
great christmas because of graham and his family. it had
nothing to do with the presents i just felt so welcomed and
loved it was very very nice i invited graham to my family's
christmas and that was a treat i must say my family is huge
and i think he was a little overwhelmed but at least he
enjoyed the food:):) i got my new years kiss from graham
this year :) and my grammas adore him. my great gramma Gert
calls him my guardian angel because he's always helping me
somehow if i need a ride or taking me to doctors
appointments and listening to me bitch about my life and
darin and my aches and pains. he likes to make me look bad
by asking if theres anything that needs to be done around
the house Gert usually finds something for him to do. hes
pretty handy sometimes:)everyone thnks we are together i
guess because we spend so much time together and sometimes
its weird because we act like were married and its comical
at times but we arent together and thats ok this
arrangement suits him well and its working ok for me so im
happy. i wish that i could go back in time and change what
i did that night we broke up this summer i never would have
left for vegas if i hadnt have taken that dare and hurt him
but whats done is done and i have mattie now there are
times i wish that graham was matties father instead of
darin. in some ways it would be easier and in some ways it
would be more difficult. graham has been here every step of
this pregnancy he knows how to make me feel better when i
get the im fat and look like crap blues he went with me to
the hospital for an ultra sound in january his own
discomfort aside and he had this look of awe on his face
when he saw mattie moving around inside me.it was great. he
was also my valentine :):) @^--there are a million other
things i could say about graham but im hungry i know i love
him despite his mood swings and his sub par wise cracks he
truly is a wonderful man and im lucky because he's my best
friend. maybe one say it will be more but until then i
couldnt ask for a better best fiend or a better guardian
angel to watch over me. love you cookie -- ketchup