so two of my roomates are..
so two of my roomates are having steady sex. one with a
native italian and one with a hippie surfer kid. the native
italian, Lucca, and his friend Roberto both want to marry
me because they said i made the most perfect lasagna they
have ever had. and that i am a divine woman. hmm.
anyway i dont forsee being a part of this finding a guy to
chill with and fuck. The main reason being because i dont
really want to. I know all the other girls do, i see them
trying but for some reason i just have 0 desire. even the
guys i find attractive, even the one that i am kinda
friends with who gave me this book, The Tao of Physics
i just dont even have the desire to put in the effort
and thought it takes to like someone, even if i would
for once i am thinking the things i want to be thinking
about. i dont have to force bullshit thoughts out of my
head or try to decipher if a thought is vaild or not.
the day i got here, i was settled and comfortable and felt
i could walk out my door and know exaclty where i was
going, felt i knew the streets even tho i didnt. i felt i
knew myself and i felt at ease and i felt everything was
right. every moment is right. and some days i got off track
and more days im sure i will but i know i will get right
there is something about this city that makes me want to go
to church. if that explains things any better. makes me be
aware of faith? like it is in the air? im not saying
standard church faith. im talking faith, pure.
and i want to flow with all this, i want it to keep flowing
in me, and it is a flow that is everywhere, a flow i can
take back with me : ) and i just dont think i have room
for another person in my little world right now. sometimes
me and my roomies, sometimes our flows cross.
i had the same dream as jill the other night, which never
happened so exaclty down to the last detail before. and i
can sit and talk to amanda for hours and keep being amazed
how much of our past we have in common and how much of who
we are is so similar, to the point where we sleep for a
whopping two hours before getting up for class. so yeah if
some magic happens to occur, than fine, but aside from
magic, i m not even entertaining.
so yeah im loving this photo class. for three weeks, we had
a TA cause ALESSANDRA, the professor, had been in new york
for an opening of her show and got stuck there. and for
weeks all we heard was ALESSANDRA wants this and that and i
was under the impression that she was some sort of mythical
9 foot goddess, anyway she came back the other day and she is
a little sweet thing, the only natural blonde in italy,
and i immediately fell in love with her. she told us all
about how she was in tribeca when the planes hit and how
she spent all the time she was stuck there helping out and
in her cute heavy italian accent told us how she now
feeels like she was "more of an american than an italian"
and i was so jealous of her, that she was in my city and i
wasnt and i felt like a bad new yorker, wished i was on my
roof with my mom and grandma, watching... but yeah been
over that already.
ok i only have 5 more min left of INTERNET time so peace
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