Nofie

Innerworkings
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2001-09-26 08:34:45 (UTC)

Introspection Annihilated

I'm finding myself being drawn to the last person I'd
expect to be...the one person that I was always so sure was
strictly just a friend and nothing more. And then there's
my beloved, who is now taunting me with casual brush-by's
and friendly leaning-against-me's. Oddly enough, I feel
okay tonight. Today was rough, I wandered through the
motions like a zombie, wondering what it would be like if I
got into a bad car accident and was in a coma for six
months. This was especially bad because I was driving at
the time, and it was raining and I wasn't really paying
attention to what I was doing.
I've got my mother worried about me. It's not a
difficult thing to do, though. She worries about
everything. Particularly my bizarre sleeping patterns and
the fact that I think nothing of staying up wasting my time
on this computer until six in the morning and then kissing
her goodnight as she's getting up for work. She's proud of
me for quitting smoking, little does she know that I broke
down this morning and bought a pack. We're not going to
tell her, it would just add to the list of little
disappointments I've provided her throughout the years.
"Buried deep as you can dig inside yourself, covered
with a perfect shell, such a charming beautiful exterior,
laced with brilliant smiles and shining eyes, perfect
posture, but you're barely scraping by...well this is one
time that you can't fake it hard enough to please everyone
or anyone at all, and the grave that you refuse to leave,
the refuge that you built to flee, are places that you've
come to fear the most..."


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