weezer2080

I'm a girl, not a band!!!
2003-02-18 05:24:19 (UTC)

Hurting

So, on top of all this guy at work frustration, I turn
around and pick a fight with my best friend for no
apparent reason. God, I'm such an ass. I end up making
myself cry and get all upset and also get him pissed and
upset.

I think that my problem is that I put too much of myself
into a relationship. I overwhelm people with the intensity
of my emotions. But I don't know how to change that.
Should I change that? Is it not a good thing? I have been
questioning myself so much lately. There's just alot
happening all at once and I'm not used to it at all. I've
never, never, NEVER had a romantic relationship. Never had
a boyfriend. And the fact that someone is interested in me
like that is actually very scary. Plus the fact that I'm
his boss kinda puts a damper on that. But that's another
story.

So, I went to bed last night crying with Chris upset with
me and woke up late this morning and had to do everything
by myself until 9 when someone finally came in. I was
short handed all day, the banks were closed so I got no
change and ran out and then forgot to audit the safe (not
good L) and didn't get lunch and came home and crashed for
about 2 hours. I did get taken out to dinner (yay for
mommies!) though. And I apologized to Chris and am trying
to move on.

He was completely honest with me, and I am eternally
grateful for that. Thank you. And I'm looking into my
overwhelmingness. I think I just made that word up.

~L