once again
2001-09-26 04:42:58 (UTC)


Patricia's in the hospital for her migrains again and can't
come home untill friday. I'm the lucky stand in mom. So,
inbetween drop-offs this morning I called to talk to Shawn
at 10 and he wasn't there, then again at 11 and they told
me that they were looking for him, too. That's not like
Shawnt o not show up. That job is his life and he would
always goto work no matter what. So, maybe he was sleeping
or had car problems, even though he lives two blocks away.
I just hope he isn't screwing shit up again. He never
screw up at work, I just hope everything is okay. Our two
year anniversary would be Oct. 6 and I don't know if it's
bad, but I bought him an anniversary card. I had to, he
means the world to me and it describes our relationship
perfectly. I don't want to give up on this, I think this
could work. Last night I watched Down TO You wiht Fredie
Prinze Jr, and Julia Stiles and it was like that movie was
made for Shawn and I. It is our relationship but a litlle
backwards. She is with him and they are together for 2
years in college and she gets freaked with the idea of
forever commitment and they start fighting alot and she
cheated on him. Then they obviously broke up and she did
like me and moved back home to L.A. while, he's left in New
York depressed for a year. He tried to kill himself, not
really. He's drunk and thinks if he drinks her hair
shampoo and lives he doesn't need her. His dad has a
party, she's in town and calls and he tells her that she
needs to come see him. So she shows up at this party and
they walk for hours but she has to get back to the hotel
because she has to go back. She is an artist and drew a
book cover Down To You and it has the two of them on it.
She gives it to him and leaves. He opens it and she comes
back. Then they decide they even though they were young
then they still love each other and he moves to L.A. to
make it work. Eveything I've been seeing or hearing lately
has the exact meaning behind what's going on with Shawn and
I. I think it's a sign and I hope in not reading into
things I should just leace alone. I can't picture not
having him and never feeling him love me they way he used
to. I wander lost him.