lauren

Thoughts
2003-02-18 01:35:52 (UTC)

another lonely night.......

Well its another lonely night. Ive spent the past few days
either in my bed or in this chair, watching TV, or
watching this computer screen. I like having this journal
now because i think its healthy to be able to vent. and
sence i dont have a person to vent to, writing it down is
second best to me. Im just so frustrated im sick. my
Immune system just doesnt work right i guess. Ryan is sick
and it lasts a day i get sick and then it doesnt ever seem
to end. I watched some tv ( of course what else is there
to do), ate some chinesse food, and then my parents ask if
ryan is coming over because they think hed be able to make
it, my parents are pretty weird about EVERYTHING so if
they say the roads here are driveable they must be. But he
said he has to get grocerys home, i know not because they
will spoil considering its so damn cold outside but
because his family is waiting to eat with them. Then i get
upset, not because im a bitch but because im lonely and
sick and that sucks. I havent seen him in three days and
im used to seeing him all the time and when u are used to
something its hard to adjust to anything else. So then I
notice its only 7:30 and he was suppose to get off at 8
anyway so i call back. he said he cant no matter what. but
he has to go to drews before he goes home. So i called
drews a lil while ago and he isnt there, which worries me
in weather like this, so i call his house and its busy, so
now i feel compulsive. but im lonely and i really love him
ALOT and every monday we have watch Joe millionaire
together, havent missed 1 but tonight the last one we are.
i mean i dont like traditions that have to be broken even
if they are pathetic reality tv shows. i dont know when i
worrie though, my stress factor goes up, and i get sick
again. i hate worrying about people i love but i wouldnt
unless i didnt love them. so anyone out there if i dont
seem to worry about u chances are i dont love u. and if i
worry about u alot, well u figure it out. well i just
called drews again and he isnt there and his house line is
busy, i mean im really worried, maybe the roads are worse
then my parents said and i was watching tv today and on
the news it was talking about cars turning over on the
roads and showed fotage of it, that makes me worry more. i
need to just chill out i guess. oh well ttyl
-Lauren




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