lost in the dark
2001-09-26 03:51:27 (UTC)

After Coffee....

I am kicking my ass. I talked and talked,but I did not
talk. I don't know how many times I just wanted to blurt
out what was really on my mind. But, everytime that I
wanted to say it something else came out. Don't get me
wrong I really enjoyed the time that I had with this woman
tonight. Spent almost 2 and a half hours just babbling on
about what I did or she did in school. Alot of memories
were stirred up from that. Not a bad thing, I thought it
was a good thing. I don't know about the next time though.
Nerves are going off the wall just because, I did not say
what I had to say. I was thinking that it would wrack the
moment of what was going on. I know that there should have
been more then one time during the night that I could have
actually brought up the subject of saturday night. I
already know that I am going to be taking her out for
coffee again. The next time I am going to bring it up.
This may seem funny, but all I wanted to do just before
leaving her was bring her close and tell it "it was
alright", I that it might sound strange. I also wanted to
know what it would be like to kiss her one more time too. I
just could not get the nerve up (once again). I keep
telling myself that I have to take my time. Don't want to
wrack a good thing. And the state that I know that she must
be in is holding me back. It is almost like the brick wall
complex. You smash one brick down and another one is there
waiting for you to get through. Why does choices in life
always seem so hard to make. I know that choices are not
hard to make it is the reasoning behide the choice that is
what has to be delt with. Something to always ponder.


Lost in the Dark.