Ms.Misery

Abstract Soul
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2003-02-18 00:06:34 (UTC)

Can you see me?

There are times in one's life when you have to stop and ask
yourself, " Has anyone ever really seen me?" By saying the
word "seen" I am referring to the inner being that is you.
Does anyone ever really know who it is that they are
talking to? Of course not, because usually that person is
an aquaintance or a distant friend of some sort. To say
that you really have "seen" someone means that not only do
you love that person and cherish every flaw and detail
about them, but you notice every little and big thing that
creates that person and the atmosphere surrounding them. I
recently asked myself if there is anyone that has ever
truelly seen me and I have been led to the conclusion that
I will spend the rest of my life or a great while in my
future undetected. How is that someone can be so saddened
by having never really truelly been seen and finding that
as something to even dwell over? I know it may sound as
though there is little to the many thoughts that occur in
my head, but the truth is that rather than noticing what it
is that I do have, I tend to notice that of which I do not.
I work counter-clockwise from the rest of everyone else and
by being this way, I tend to notice the not so obvious.
Either that or I over analyze things.

I sometimes wish that I were not this way because with
every new discovery that I uncover, I tend to find that it
is one that brings me sorrow and conflict.

I am probably the most unhappiest person that you will ever
have the dishonor of coming close to, but wonderful for you
and pity for me, it is a curse that is forever my shadow's
personality.

I think myself to be someone worthy of love and devotion
however much I have no clue about it, but I believe that if
ever I obtain it, I will not know what to do with this gift
and therefore mistreat and mislead it. Perhaps I should
just end myself before I become a tool that inflicts pain
and misfortune on others. It just may very well be the only
thing that I could possibly do well for those who do not
see me.

After all is done with, I wonder now, can anyone ever
remember someone whom they have never "seen"?


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