Ugly on the inside
2001-09-26 00:20:20 (UTC)

Freedent Holly

Work was alright, i sat quietly and made chicken pot pies
the whole time... they were beautiful hehe. but no one
bought any. why would they? i made them... maybe that's
why. foowy. this entry isn't going to be very deep in
thought or touch into new discoveries in my latest
emotional roller coaster.
i'm still avoiding everyone, and i'm getting more and more
on edge at every passing hour. it's not really fair to my
friends but i'm so jealous and so paranoid and so... ah...
i don't know.=-( i'm mad at james for befriending christina
(she's one of those people that doesn't deserve to live)
and he doesn't belive me that she's a liar, thief and a
total brat...
i got my math grade today... a C! oh my god a C!... i never
get C's...=-( that is another thing i should explain
someday about my high standards for myself
mr. I'm pretty (aka Cai) says hi to me all the time but
never ever says more than that... i'm too shy to do it
i'm jealous of erin getting a brand new car and me getting
a car you'd see a guy from 1980's sporting a mullet and
nascar stickers with a wife with no teeth. it's so trashy.
white too... but it's something.
i'm jealous of everyone who has a boyfriend/or girlfriend
because they always seem to rub it in my face non
intentionally or they always make me the 3rd wheel.
i'm jealous of nicole because she always gets good grades
but she doesn't do her homework, slacks off and still
manages to pull of A's and B's while i'm sitting in my room
4 hours at a time working twice or three times harder than
everyone else only to pull off a C! it's not fair.

now i'm sounding like a little brat. and to this day i
wonder why i ever "gave up" (for the most part)

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