Life in the Making
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2001-09-25 21:28:50 (UTC)

A word from Vanessa

In her other journal at Vanessa and myself
were writing topics about our different views about
boyfriends. This passage made me cry because she is right.

"I've come to the conclusion that everything that Brook has
complained about stems from a need to be cared for. She was
never babied as a little girl, so she thinks that because I
do so many nice things for Brandon, I'm babying him when in
reality I'm just being me. She thinks that Brandon's a
loser because he doesn't have a car or a job because her
step-dad is a loser without a job. She's not open to the
fact that Brandon and I love one another because she's
disgusted by it because she's afraid of it. So the only
thing she can do is criticize me because I'm happy and
she's not. She thinks that [Brandon] being viewed by other
people as a "pussy or a man" is one of the most important
things in one's life because her step-dad (and maybe her
real father) was/is an egotistical jerk-off who feels
powerful by acting macho. She thinks it's ridiculous that
we call one another to say goodnight because maybe no one
lovingly told her goodnight every night when she was a
child, and no one does now, either. She thinks it's silly
because she's never experienced it. But let me tell you,
when you know that someone you love loves you back in the
same passionate way that you love them, and they feel it's
their duty to make sure your night is completed by a
simple "goodnight," it's the most amazing feeling in the
world. As soon as you experience it, and a boyfriend that
tells you he loves you and means it from the bottom of his
heart, you'll understand why I'm so adamant about
convincing you that it's not silly and ridiculous. It's
- Vanessa Medlin

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