RachelAnne

Rachebaby
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2003-02-16 23:28:53 (UTC)

Stress

If I could sum up my feelings about this semester, it would
be stressed. I am so stressed out about things. Mainly with
people in my life. They seem so surfacy. I hate how at
times I feel like no one understands or cares to. Sometimes
I wish God would just bring someone into my life that would
automatically just understand how I feel about everything
and I wouldn't have to sit them down and explain everything
out to them every single second, I guess that's why God is
there though. I never have to tell Him the stories 'cause
He already knows all of the details, that's always nice.
Stress is something that I have come to know more than I
would have ever liked to. I guess it's because I've got a
lot on my shoulders right now. Not only am I taking a full
load of classes credict wise, but all of the them are 3 or
4 hour classes except for one. I'm trying to figure out
what to do next year to, far as living wise, which can be
confusing at times. Also, money has become a huge problem.
Which, I'm almost glad to welcome because for christian ed.
majors it's something we will struggle with because our job
and field is none for having money problems from time to
time. Probably the thing I hate most about having money
problems is now I have had to pick up another job,
waitressing at Pizza Hut, what a thrilling job, I miss my
days of teaching swimming to children and KNOW that i was
making a big impact in their lives, possibly saving some of
them in the long run. But no, can't have a impacting job
waitressing...guess I could be a witness to my non-
christian employees. It's just really stressful because I'm
already working at the DC mon, weds, and fri., now I'm
gonna be working nights from 6-11 Thurs-Mon. Tues I have
mentor moms, Weds, lifeguarding class, this means if I'm
not sleeping, I'm either working, in class, or studing. I
have to pay off this credict card bill from buying books
then i have to start saving money for a car that I will
have to buy at the beginning of the year. Great, stress,
more stress. The sucky part is that I will have to cut off
my social life completely. I just won't have the time that
i used to for friends. What sucks even more is that this
weekend was my last weekend to do things with friends
before my spazzy schedule starts, did I hang out with all
the friends I wanted to? No, heck no. Just kinda
stressful 'cause I love my friends so much, but I never get
to spend time with them. Guess it kinda pissed me off a
bit 'cause some of them knew it was my last weekend of
freedom and still choose not to hang out with me. But
that's okay. I'm a very independent person and enjoy having
time to myself, expect when I get down and lonely...like I
have been feeling lately, that sucks. Not only that I but I
will be missing my family. I'm going home next weekend for
probably one of the last times this semester. I hate
that, 'cause my mom means so much to me and now i won't
have the time to go home ever 'cause I'm gonna be workin'
on the weekends. Another thing that sucks is my roomie
situation over here. I've been so depressed lately and I
feel like I haven't had time or anything to share it with
roomie. She is always gone and I don't know I guess I see
how she felt when I was gone all the time last year. I feel
like I live by myself, expect her stuff is here. Yea, it
just sucks not being able to spend time with friends. Guys
piss me off too, it's like even when they try to not screw
up they always end up breakin' my heart. I hate that. Yea
this is a lot of complaining, had to get it out somewhere
though....STRESS!


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