Stream of Consciousness
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2003-02-16 06:16:40 (UTC)

Here we go again

you will never guess what im goin to write about this
time....holy shit you guessed it! yeah, she messaged me out
of nowhere tonight and lays this story on me about how she
punched my arch nemisis in the face while drunk and now she
feels "so bad!", on one hand i feel bad because i told her
she could talk to me about anything, but does she hafta
talk to me about him? fucking jesus. its the last thing i
want to hear. but then the smart part of my brain, you
know, that .5 % of my brain that isnt under her control and
is still able to choke out a rational thought from time to
time, yeah that one, it was telling me "perhaps she is
trying to make you jealous, and thus make you feel bad."
and i happen to agree, thanks .5%. so i told her i didnt
give a fuck, i tried my damndest to make sure she knew i
was there for her when i thought she wasnt just trying to
fuck with my head, but who the fuck knows what that
accomplishes, thus far all it has gotten me is pain. but i
figure in the long run, i will have regreted not to be the
man i need to be now and offer her support.
i know, im a big fucking train wreck....most people whjen
they fall down, they are maybe a small three car subway
wreck......nooooo not me...im fucking north and south bound
amtrak and chemical trains coliding. i need to either join
a cult and swear of girls forever. or somehow find that
switch in the back of my head, probly right next to the gay
switch so ill hafta be careful, and flick it on so i no
longer care about girls. but what fun is that.
so yeah, i walked into a shit storm at work tonight, i
showed up to find out that the closer for the night called
in sick so i(not a closer) hafta work with the dumbes new
bitch in the world (also not a closer) and at the end of
the night i just threw all the money in a locker and went
home...thought id tag that on at the end. im out.